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"Ace Balthazar Lives" Transcript

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OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!
This page is the transcript for "Ace Balthazar Lives".

Mordecai: Dude, hurry up! The show's coming back on!

Rigby: Hang on, I gotta get my oats.

Mordecai: Dude, use a bowl.

Rigby: Shut it! I'll eat my oats however my mouth feels like it.

(Rigby sticks a chocolate cake in with the oats and eats it)

Rigby (continued): Hmm hmmm.

Mordecai: Ugh.

TV Announcer: And now, back to Behind the Bands with Adrenaline! Here's Fesner, John Moore, Ricky Grant, And frontman... Ace Balthazar!

Ace Balthazar: 1, 2, 3, 4...!

[Adrenaline, with Ace on front, gets shreddin']

TV Announcer: They were the most epic band of all time...in 1984!

[Ricky Grant: Bass]

Ricky Grant: Yeah. We were pretty up with our guests... but it was Ace they came to see. He was real, man. [guitar noise]

Ace Balthazar: I've got an Adrenaline rush, and I think I'm gonna--!!!

Crowd: Crash! Crash! Crash! Crash! Crash!

Mordecai and Rigby: Crash! Crash! Crash! Crush!

[Aces crushes and smashes a speaker and Fesner's drum kit with his power guitar like a certified berzerker]1

Ace Balthazar: AAAARGHHH!!!

Crowd: Whooo!

[The crowd just loved Ace's crash performance, and the crush-happy frontman of Adrenaline raises his arm in victory]

[John Moore: Keyboard]

John Moore: For Ace, crashing just wasn't part of the show. It was a way of life.

[We see Adrenaline at Bistro en le Parc]

Ace Balthazar: I think I'm gonna - CRASH! [knocks table over and makes a mega-mess of things] CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! [We see Adrenaline at their Jacuzzi, with Ace letting out his frustrations on the water] CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! CRASH!

At RV:  [laughing]

Ricky Grant: Wait. Where's Ace? 

[Good guess - cut to the driver's seat, with a psycho Ace Balthazar behind the wheel]

Ace Balthazar: CRUSH! CRUSH! CRUSH!

(The Adrenaline tour bus, courtesy of crush-happy Ace, goes over cliff, crashes into road. All three members minus Ace were lucky to walk away from the crash)

Adrenaline: Come on, we've gotta get outta here! RUN!!!

(The RV goes BOOM!)

[Pierce Fesner: Drums]

Pierce Fesner: When we lost Ace, we knew the Adrenaline Rush was over. There'll never be another performer like Ace. Ever.

Rigby: Hmm. Hmm. True facts.

Mordecai: Dude! I wish we could've seen them play live. It would've been the most epic concert ever.

TV Announcer: Though he was presumed dead, Ace's body was never found. Could Ace be alive and walking among us? 

Woman: He ain't dead. I seen him at the shop-mart.

Man 1: My friend's brother saw him at the bus station.

Fat Man: I saw him on my quesadilla.

TV Announcer: A recent sighting has even been captured on film. [Knight seen creeping near bushes, Pops's House seen in background]

Rigby: Haha. That looks like our house in the background.

Mordecai: Dude, that is our house.

Rigby: Wait, is that..?

Mordecai: Dude, it's that guy who thinks he's a knight.

(Knight and Ace on split screen)

TV Announcer: Could this man be the real Ace Balthazar?

Rigby: Duuuuuude. (cuts out a knight's helmet and positions it on Ace Balthazar's view) Ace Bathazar's in our Park!

Mordecai and Rigby: Woooooaaaahh!

Mordecai: Dude, I bet if we get him back together with his band, they'd play live and we get backstage passes!

Rigby: They'd totally give us backstage passes.

Mordecai: Dude, we gotta get him back together with his band.

(Cut to the creek where the knight lives. He places an old fax printer in front of him)

Knight: Now, to see what you are made of.

(He starts laughing as he repeatedly bashes the printer with his sword. We pan over to the bushes where Morrdecai and Rigby are watching him.)

Rigby: Dude, it's him! It's Ace!

Mordecai: Ye-ace it is!

(They start running over to him.)

Mordecai and Rigby: Ace! Ace! Ace! Ace!

Knight: Oh! Natives of the new world!

Mordecai: Ace! Oh, man. It's an honor to meet you, sir.

Knight: Ace? What is this "Ace"?

Rigby: Dude, you're Ace Balthazar from Adrenaline!

Knight: What? I am not Ace Balthazar! I am Sir Gablethorp of Kingdonia! My quest is to discover the marvels of the new world. For instance, to find the tiny artists that live within this printing device.

(He resumes smashing the printer.)

Rigby: Dude, there's something seriously wrong with Ace.

Mordecai: I know. I think that bus crash must've messed up his memory.

(Rigby is holding a mixtape called Jog It!: Adrenaline's Hits.)

Rigby: Hmm, hmm! Time to jog it, then!

(He puts it in a boombox and the mixtape plays.)

Sir Gablethorp: What is this music? How do you have a whole band of men inside such a small box?

Rigby: It's not just any band of men, it's Adrenaline!

Sir Gablethorp: Adrenaline?

(He raises his sword up.)

Sir Gablethorp (continued): I must meet this tiny band of men!

Mordecai and Rigby: No, wait!

(Gablethorp begins crashing the boombox. He soon stops.)

Sir Gablethorp: Where did the tiny band of men go?

Rigby: Dude, Ace Balthazar just trashed our boombox!

Mordecai and Rigby: Whoooooaaaaaa!

Sir Gablethorp: Oooohhhhh!

Mordecai: Ace, we wanna get you back together with your old band.

Rigby: Yeah, we're huge fans. And we wanna see your perform live!

Sir Gablethorp: (to himself) If pretending to be Ace Balthazar will get them to accept me, then so be it. (to Mordecai and Rigby) Friends, I just remembered that I am Ace Balthazar!

Mordecai and Rigby: Haha, I knew it!

Mordecai: Now all we gotta do is get you back together with your band.

(We cut to the residence of the members of Adrenaline, who are in a hottub, watching and reminiscing their time with Ace Balthazar.)

Ricky: Those were the days.

Pierce: What I wouldn't give to see Ace walk through our door right now.

(Jenkins comes through the door.)

Jenkins: There's a guy out here claiming to be Ace.

Ricky: Alright, bring him in.

(Mordecai and Rigby walk in with the Knight.)

Sir Gablethorp: Hello all! It is I, Ace Balthazar!

(The band members say nothing.)

Ricky: Jenkins, please escort these guys out.

(He proceeds to, but is stopped by Mordecai.)

Mordecai: No, wait! It really is Ace! Just look at him!

(Mordecai walks him up next to Ace's portrait. The Knight smiles nervously. The band members take a hard look.)

John: Eh Ricky, he does kinda look like Ace.

Ricky: That may be, but you sure don't dress or act like him. Besides, it's a known fact that Ace died in that crash. Pierce, play Track 4 of Adrena-geddon, backwards!

(Pierce takes out a remote and plays it backwards on the stereo.)

Ace: This is Ace Balthazar speaking, and I will totally die in a tour bus crash.

(It ends. Mordecai, Rigby and the Kinght are thrown out by the guards.)

Mordecai: Don't worry, Ace. We'll change you back in your old self. Then they'll believe it's you for sure.

(We cut to Two Peaks Mall, where Mordecai and Rigby find clothes for the Knight.)

Mordecai (continued): First thing's first. We need to find you something cool to wear.

Sir Gablethorp: What is wrong with my armor?

Rigby: Dude, burlap isn't cool?

Mordecai: You know what else isn't cool? Not wearing pants.

(We see Ace's leggings.)

Mordecai (continued): If you want people to recognise you, you gotta start dressing like your old self.

(He hands Gablethorp a set of clothing.)

Sir Gablethorp: If it is as you culture dictates, (takes clothes) then I will don the garb that is necessary to do so.

Rigby: Whatever. Just try the clothes on.

(Gablethorp goes into the changing room, and after trying three outfits, he comes out as the style of Ace. We cut to Pops' house.)

Sir Gablethorp: No! No!

(In the kitchen, Margaret and Eileen are with Mordecai, Rigby and Gablethorp, fashion supplies on the table.)

Sir Gablethorp (continued): I simply will not allow it! I will stand for these artisans to rouge my face.

(Margaret and Eileen hold up a brush and hair dryer, respectively.)

Sir Gablethorp (continued): But to remove my helmet?! I refuse! A helmet is a knight's honor!

Mordecai: Well, hair is a rockstar's honor.

Rigby: Yeah, man. No hair, no honor.

Eileen: It's the only way to be a rockstar.

Sir Gablethorp: Well, if that is your custom, then so be it.

(He removes his helmet, and Mordecai and Rigby scream at the sight of his hair. It's revealed to be long and undone white hair.)

Margaret: Uhh, this is gonna take a while.

(Cut to the guys in the living room. Margaret and Eileen walk out.)

Margaret (continued): (chuckles) Presenting Ace Balthazar.

(Gablethorp walks in with full appearance as Ace Balthazar.)

Mordecai: Woah!

Rigby: Awesome!

Mordecai: Margaret and Eileen, this is perfect!

Sir Gablethorp: Indeed. I feel thoroughly transformed into a star of rock.

Mordecai: Well, almost perfect.

(Later, Mordecai and Rigby sit Gablethorp down.)

Mordecai (continued): This will help you remember who you really are.

(He turns to the TV and an Adrenaline performance appears.)

Sir Gablethorp: Remarkable!

(He gets closer to the screen.)

Sir Gablethorp (continued): A tiny band of men you can hear and see? What sorcery is this?

(Rigby goes over to him.)

Rigby: No! No more of that knight talk, man. Just watch the screen.

(He makes Gablethorp look a the screen. Ace Balthazar is being interviewed.)

Interviewer: Describe yourself in one word.

Ace Balthazar: Acestounding.

Sir Gablethorp: Acestounding!

(As Gablethorp watches Ace performing and crashing, day and night his mind grasps everything about Ace's life. The scene flashes out to Adrenaline's place of residence. Ricky answers a knock on the door, and sees it's Mordecai and Rigby.)

Ricky: Oh, it's you blokes again. Get out!

(Mordecai and Rigby move aside and present the fully transformed Ace Balthazar.)

Sir Gablethorp (Ace): Aren't you gonna invite your old bandmate inside?

Ricky: Ace?

(The two other band members stand up in shock.)

Sir Gablethorp (Ace): I don't know about you guys, but I've got an Adrenaline rush, and I think I'm gonna...

John and Fesner: Crash! Crash!

John, Fenser and Ricky: Crash! Crash! Crash!

(As they chant, the Ace-turned Knight crashes everything in the room.)

Sir Gablethorp (Ace): Now are we gonna rock out or what?

(Everyone smiles. Scene cuts to the Adrenaline concert. Mordecai and Rigby are back stage.)

Mordecai: Dude, we did it! We're gonna see Adrenaline play live!

Mordecai and Rigby: Crash! Crash Crash!

(Ricky walks up to the mic.)

Ricky: I wanna thank all of you for being here. And I wanna tell you that tonight, rock history will be made! Because tonight, after years of silence, Adrenaline plays again!

(He steps back as Gablethorp rises up, taking the stage as Ace Balthazar. He smiles as the audience cheers.)

Fat Man: How I've longed for this moment!

(The Ace turned Knight steps up to the microphone.)

Sir Gablethorp (Ace): Alright, let's rock! 1,2,3,4-

(The mic suddenly crackles with electricity, and the stage lights dime down.)

Rigby: Ah, what?

Mordecai: Woah!

(A gust of wind blows and the speakers electrify. An audience member points to the sky as a green light forms. Mordecai, Rigby and the Knight shield their eyes as the green light is revealed to be the ghost of Ace. He screams.)

Ace Balthazar: Imposter! 

(He lands beside the Knight.)

Ace Balthazar: This isn't the real Ace Balthazar! I am!

Mordecai and Rigby: Uh oh!

Ace Balthazar: You! You are a disgrace!

Sir Gablethorp: But,.. but...

Ace Balthazar: (mockingly) "But..but.." but nothing! I'm the real deal here, and this band is nothing without me! No offense, guys.

(The other members reply none taken.)

Ace Bathazar (continued): Now get off this stage, poser!

(The crowd boos. Mordecai and Rigby run onstage.)

Rigby: Stop! Stop!

Mordecai: Wait, hold on! We're sorry we thought he was you. It's just, we really wanted to see Adrenaline play live. Please just let him play.

Ace Balthazar: No. Now get off the stage!

Crowd: Yeah! Get off the stage! Get off the stage! Get off the stage!

(The fat man throws his quesadilla at the Knight, followed by him getting pelted by other items.)

Sir Gablethorp: Enough! Enough, I say!

(The crowd stops.)

Sir Gablethorp (continued): For years, I have been fascinated by your culture. I have worked hard to embrace this as my own, yet this is how I am to be repaid?!

(Short silence. Gablethorp points at Balthazar.)

Sir Gablethorp (continued): Now hear this, Ace Balthazar. I've got an Adrenaline rush, (puts on helmet) and I think I'm gonna crash.

(His guitar tranforms into an axe, and he begins crashing the stage by shooting electrics lasers at the sound equioment. Mordecai, Rigby, Ace and the band move out of the way as Gablethorp set the stage on fire. The audience cheers at this.)

Ace Balthazar: His crashing....it's acestounding!

(Before Gablethorp can crash any further, Balthazar takes his axe and goes to him.)

Ace Balthazar (continued): I was wrong about you. Never before have I seen anyone crash that way. That was better than anything I could've ever done.

(Gablethorp smiles.)

Ace Balthazar (continued): Kneel, Sir Gablethorp.

(He does so and removes his helmet.)

Ace Balthazar (continued): I dub thee the new Ace Balthazar!

(The audience cheers.)

Ace Balthazar (continued): Now, take the stage!

(Gablethorp steps up and plays lute music while using a rock gesture. Mordecai and Rigby are shocked. The audience boos and throw cans at him. Ace floats to him and takes the guitar.)

Ace Balthazar (continued): Forget it, I'll just do it. 1, 2, 3, 4!

(Adrenaline plays a rock song.)

Mordecai: Well, at least we finally get to see Adrenaline play live!

Mordecai and Rigby: Yeah-yuh!

Sir Gablethorp: Ooh! This music is amazing! It must be shared!

(He shoots open a portal from his glove, which leads to his medieval world, and many knights come out and dance with the audience. The Eggscellent Knight from Eggscellent appears. He laughs in a jolly tone and runs into the audience, but is knocked down.)

Eggscellent Knight: I have moshed poorly.

(The other knights chant on Gablethorp as they crowd surf him.)

Mordecai: Dude, best concert ever.

(The episode ends as the concert continues.)

(End of Ace Balthazar Lives.)


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