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"Bank Shot" Transcript

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OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!
This page is the transcript for "Bank Shot".

(Episode opens with Wing Kingdom. Rigby prepares to make a shot and succeeds.)

Rigby: Oh, the pressure is on! Will Skips sink a triple bank to top the shot or will Rigby remain undefeated?

(Skips shoots and he misses)

Skips: Aw, nuts.

Muscle Man, Hi Five Ghost, and Mordecai: OOOHHHH!

Rigby: (Grabs the basketball) All Rigby needs is one simple bank shot and this deal is done dotta. (He prepares to shot) What's his gut tell him? (Goes to his stomach and back up to his face) Says it's gonna be a good one.

(Rigby shoots and succeeds again)

Rigby: Aw yeah! Year of the Rigbyyyyyyy! (Rotates his hat on his head) Who else wants to play against the masta?

Muscle Man: No way, bro. I'd rather play a game I might actually win.

Mordecai: Yeah, dude. How are you so good at this game?

Rigby: You guys are just overthinking it. Now, who wants to step it to the king?

Cash Bankis: I do.

(Steps out of his booth)

Two Guys: Cash Bankis!

(Cash walks over to the guys)

Rigby: Uh, what was that? You said you want to bank some shots?

Cash Bankis: You talk a lot of talk kid. You wanna prove you're the man? Then how about a little wager?

Rigby: What do you want to bet?

Cash Bankis: Loser pays for the winner's bill.

Mordecai: Rigby, wait. This guy's weird. I don't trust him.

Rigby: Don't trust him? His name's Cash; he can afford to pay our meal.

Mordecai: That's not why I don't trust-

Rigby: I accept.

(Cash removes his hood, revealing him having a basketball hoop for a head. The guys gasp)

Cash Bankis: Tank, ball bag me.

(Tank gives Cash a bag and removes a basketball with the word "Bankis" made of crystals on it)

Rigby: I'll let you go first, 'cause no matter what you do, it's gonna be easy for me to top-

(Cash shoots and succeds; the guys gasp)

Rigby: -it. Pfft. That shot was alright, but this shot's even better!

(Rigby shoots and misses)

Rigby: What? My gut never lets me down.

(Cash shoots and succeeds again)

Cash Bankits: The bill.

(Gives the bill to Rigby)

Rigby: $12,000?! What have you been eating?

Cash Bankits: Me and the boys been eating gold-plated chicken all night.

(Goes to the booth with the others eating gold chicken)

Guy: This gold really holds in the moisture.

Rigby: Double or nothing!

Mordecai: Rigby, don't!

Rigby: I bet double or nothing that I can bank it off the far wall and into the hoop.

Cash Bankis: Throw in that hat as a side bet and you got a deal.

Rigby: What? But I almost died for this hat!

Cash Bankis: It's the one thing money can't buy, and it's the only deal I'll take.

Mordecai: Dude, don't do it. You can't make a shot off the wall!

Rigby: Yes I can; I can feel it in my gut. I've never felt so sure of any bank shot in my entire life!

(Rigby prepares to shot)

Rigby: Talk to me, gut.

(Rigby makes sure his shot will work)

Rigby: Hmm. Greatest bank shot of all time!

(Rigby throws the ball and it goes through the window and makes a car crash)

Rigby: But it should've worked.

Cash Bankis: (Takes Rigby's hat and puts it on his head) I'll take that. Perfect fit, now pay up loser.

Rigby: I don't have that kind of money!

Cash Bankis: Then you shouldn't made that kind of bet. If you don't have it, maybe your pals here do.

(Mordecai, Skips, Muscle Man, and Hi Five Ghost all murmur nervously and back up into Cash's friends)

Rigby: Wait, wait. I want another rematch. Triple or nothing.

Cash Bankis: Triple or nothing huh? I accept.

Mordecai: Dude, what are you doing?! We don't have 36 grand!

Rigby: I don't care how much it is, 'cause I'm not gonna lose! Let's go!

Cash Bankis: You are on.

Mordecai: Hold on; give us a couple a days. Rigby needs to brush up on his skills. (Gets in Rigby's face) Don't you, Rigby?

Cash Bankis: Fine, fine. You got till tomorrow. (Spins the basketball on his finger) But if you lose, we get the money, (Catches ball) and none of you can ever show your faces in Wing Kingdom ever again.

(Muscle Man squeal-screams)

Cash Bankits: See ya tomorrow, friend.

(Cash Bankits and his friends laugh and walk away)

Mordecai: Way to rope us into your mess.

Skips: I don't know you.

Muscle Man: If my future at Wing Kingdom is at stake because of you, that 36 thousand dollars will be the LEAST of your problems.

Rigby: I gotta win this game.

(Scene goes to Rigby finishing the basketball hoop)

Rigby: That should do it. (gets ready to practice) Man, I can't believe my gut was wrong. Maybe it's time to rely on my brain instead. (throws ball but it misses) Alright, no more fooling around! (throws ball again, and it misses again) Ah, what?! (grabs ball and throws it furiously, making it crash everywhere and into Benson's office window)

Benson: (from inside) Oh, come on! Are you kidding me?!

Rigby: (sighs) I need help. (scene cuts to hallway. Rigby is looking at a picture of his friends.) I really messed this up for everyone. (we see Rigby's friends standing there. They all give him a glare and walk away. Rigby sighs) Guess there's only one person who can help me now..(calls a number) Hey, can you come over? I need your help.

(Scene cuts to Rigby sitting on the stairs waiting for someone. A familiar looking car pull up to the house Don comes out)

Don: Rigbone! How's my big bro?

Rigby: Thanks for coming, Don.

Don: Man, it's been a while. You look good. Gotta say I'm a little surpised you called me. What's up?

Rigby: I'm in a lotta trouble, Don. There's these guys--

Don: Oh, hey! Bank shot! (walk up to it) I haven't sen one of these since we were kids. (performs a perfect bank shot) Whoo! Good times. So, uh, what's the problem?

Rigby: I ran my mouth off to the wrong guys and now I'm in trouble. I gotta win a bank shot match. All my money's ridin' on it.

Don: But you're great at this.

Rigby: Not anymore! I lost my touch. You're the only guy I know who's better at this than me. You gotta help me out.

Don: Well, here. (passes the ball to Rigby) Show me what you got.

(Rigby shoot the ball, but it hits the hoop, bounces off Rigby's head, and goes through Benson's office window, which was supported with cardboard)

Benson: Oh, not again!

Don: I see, we've got a lot of work to do.

Rigby: Well, let's get started

Don: Wait. Lemme get my workout gear on. (puts on a headband) Alright, let's go!

(We are shown an montage of Rigby and Don practising bank shots.)

Rigby: How do you do it, man? You never miss!

Don: You're just overthinking it. I've seen you do bank shots I can't believe. You're just as good as me. Maybe even better. You've always trusted your gut ever since we were kids. Why stop now?

Rigby: did trust my gut on that epic shot and I lost my trucker hat. My gut doesn't know anything. I can't rely on feelings. If I lose that rematch I'll let all my friends down.

Don: You won't lose, Rigby. I believe in you.

Rigby: Really?

Don: I know it right here.

Rigby: Thanks, man. (Goes to try again) Time to show that square-faced sucka who's boss! Wah-pow! (does an amazing bank shot into the hoop. Rigby's friends walk over to him, impressed.)

Hi Five Ghost: Woah!

Muscle Man: Yo, Rigby! That was a smooth move, bro!

Rigby: Yeah-yuh! Don helped me get back in the game! (Everyone greets Don)

Don: Hey, guys!

Rigby: Yeah! I'm gonna crush him!

Muscle Man: We're behind you all the way bro, win or lose.

Skips: But, you know, we'd prefer you win.

Rigby: Thanks, guys. I know I can do it.

Mordecai: Then let's get to that rematch so you can ice that fool.

(Cut to Rigby, Don and the guys heading back to Wing Kingdom. Cash and his friends are waiting for them.)

Cash Bankits: So you decided to show up. Good. I'm looking forward to that extra change. It's $36,000, right, Clarence? (Clarence shoots him a cool look)

Rigby: (grabs a banking ball) You can go first.

Cash Bankits: Great. Let's get this over with, 'cause I'm (shoots) hungry! (makes a shot, then chuckles) Looks like I'll be upgrading to (spins ball) diamond chicken.

(Rigby gets ready to make his shot. He fumbles a bit, but catches his ball. The guys chatter. Cash puts on Rigby's eggscellent hat.)

Rigby: No, I'm eggscellent! Huh! (He shoots and makes a shot.) Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm!

Cash Bankits: Hmm! (bounces the ball with his elbows and makes a shot.)

(Rigby kicks up the ball, then shoots it into the hoop off his head. Cash spins the ball and throws it off with a finger. The ball banks off four chairs and into the hoop. Rigby throws up the ball, catches it, and pounds it off the ground, sending it through the soft drink area where it gets covered with drink, and into the hoop again. Cash shoots; it bounces off a backboard and into the hoop. Rigby shoots, same result. Cash shoots again, same result. Rigby; same result. Cash makes a shot, Rigby makes a shot. Cash is now frustrated. He throws the ball off the wall, and it slides through the deer statues's antlers, off a fan, off the front table, hits a glass cup, and dives through the hoop. Everyone is shocked.)

Cash Bankits: Top that!

(Rigby prepares to make his next shot, with a worried look on his face. He throws the ball, and it bounces off the hoop, off the hanging plant, on the pool table, knocks off a trophy, hits a few backboards and back into the hoop. Everyone cheers.)

Rigby: (spins) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!

(Cash winces before making his next shot. The ball bounces off the hoop, off a broken lamp, around a big bowl of a couple's sundae, off a photo of The Wing King, and back to the hoop where it bounces between the two middle backboards. The two bankers are watching. The ball finally bounces off the rim of the hoop. Everyone except Cash cheers.)

Cash Bankits: Nooo!

Mordecai: One more shot and you win, Rigby!

(Rigby looks at Don before making his shot, and Don put his hand to his heart. Rigby smiles and nods with confidence. The audience cheers on for Rigby. Close up to his face, he closes his eyes and makes the shot. The ball bounces off the jukebox, shatters the 'Try Our Special Sauce' sign, goes through the restroom doors, around a toilet seat, back through the doors, off the wall, off the bottom right backboard, off the top left backboard, and finally, into the hoop! Everyone cheers as Rigby's friends run to him.)

Skios: I knew you could do it.

(Rigby, his brother and his friends walk up to Cash.)

Rigby: Looks like you'll be paying your own bill, Cash. Aaaaand, I'll take my hat back, please.

Cash Bankits: Oh, no. Uh-uh. You may not have to pay me that money, but I won this hat fair and square on that side bet! You'll never see it again.

Rigby: Aw, man, he's right. The hat's his.

???: Hold everything!

Rigby: Huh?

(Steam comes out from the bathroom doors, and a familar looking character comes out. Rigby, Don and his friends gasp.)

Mordecai: The God of Basketball?

God of Basketball: Rigby, your original 'Double or nothing' shot is still in play.

Rigby: The one that banked out the window? But how?

God of Basketball: It's my duty to keep track of all things basketball. And when your ball went out the window, it continued to bank!

(Flashback of Rigby's double or nothing shot. When his ball went out the window, it banked out a plant pot, and started banking down the path.)

God of Basketball: Huh? (sees  the banking ball and decidesto follow it)

(The banking ball goes down the path, through wheat fields, through the desert, past a farm with cows, through Peru, onto a plane where it banks in its seat while having coffee, off the plane and into another banking ball. They go banking with each other.The God of Basketball watch them mate and get "married". Rigby's banking ball decide to bank back to Wing Kingdom to win Rigby bet. The flashback ends)

Rigby: Does this mean my gut feeling was right this whole time? Is the shot gonna go in?

God of Basketball: I'm as curious as you. I arrived ahead of time so I could catch the final moment myself.

Mordecai: Wait. What's that sound?

(Banking can be heard in the background. Rigby's double or nothing ball returns through the cardboard window, off four seats, off the soft drink dispenser, off the plant, off the couple's sundae, through the bathroom doors, off a flusher, back through the double doors, sliding through the statue's antlers, off someone's plate of wings, and it bounces off Cash's head, knocking off the Eggscellent hat. After bounces off backboards numerous times, the ball goes round the rim of the hoop, and finally into the hoop! Everyone cheers.)

Rigby: Yeah-yuh!

God of Basketball: (picking up the Eggscellent hat) Rigby, you have truly made (puts the hat on Rigby) the greatest bank shot of all time!

(His friends cheers and pick him up.)

Rigby: Oh yeah! My shots are like the best part of the alphabet! L-M-N-

All: Oooooooo!


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