| This article is under the scope of the Transcript Cleanup Project and has yet to be cleaned up to a higher standard of quality. It may contain errors, spelling, grammar and structure issues, or inconsistent formats, or be incomplete. Reader's discretion is advised until fixing is done.|
You can help clean up this page by correcting spelling and grammar, removing factual errors and rewriting sections to ensure they are clear and concise, moving some elements when appropriate, and helping complete the transcript.
Rigby: Ugh! I lost again.
Mordecai: Hmph! Hmph!
Rigby: This stupid thing was throwing me off. (Takes a magazine that reads "Mustaches Monthly - SPECIAL HANDLEBAR ISSUE!" out of the couch.)
Rigby: What?! Why do I have to?
Mordecai: Because you're the tool who crammed it between the sofa cushions.
Rigby: I can't get up now. I'm going to lose this sweet butt cheek groove I've been working into this couch! It looks just like me!
(The butt cheek mark on the couch is visible.)
Mordecai: I'm not going up those stairs, dude.
Rigby: Fine, let's play rock-paper-scissors for it.
(Rigby plays paper and Mordecai plays rock.)
Rigby: Hmph hmph.
Mordecai: (groans) Whatever.
(Rigby plays the video game as Mordecai approaches Pops' room. We hear water running.)
Mordecai: Pops. Yo, Pops. I found your Mustache Monthly. (Puts Pops' Moustaches Monthly on a chair and turns his head around, before seeing Pops, just out of the shower and naked.) Aaaaagh!
Mordecai: Aaaaagh! (In all the confusion, he now catches a glimpse of Pops' junk mail".)
Pops: Aaaaagh! (Pops covers his "junk mail" with his hat. Mordecai covers his eyes. They both try to leave but they're in each other's ways".)
Mordecai: (breathing) Uh... uh... uh... uh...
Pops: (breathing) Uh... uh... uh... uh...
(Mordecai finally escapes Pops' room as Pops goes into his bathroom. Mordecai goes downstairs and sits on the couch.)
Mordecai: Stop playing for a second! When I went upstairs, Pops was getting out of the shower.
Rigby: Yeah, so?
Mordecai: And he didn't have a towel.
Mordecai: I tried not to look and just give him the magazine but I saw his...
Rigby: His junk mail? Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Mordecai: No, dude, I'm mentally scarred. It's like the image is glued in the inside of my eyelids. Every saggy, wrinkled, shriveled, pasty...
Rigby: Whoa, whoa! Don't put it in my head!
Mordecai: This is your fault! You have to help me.
Rigby: I'll help you to forget it if you promise to stop talking about it.
Mordecai: Deal. (They shake hands.)
(Cut to the arcade...)
Rigby: What you need is some Strong Johns!
Mordecai: Let's do it.
(They begin to play Strong Johns. Rigby starts losing and Mordecai starts winning, but then Mordecai sees both Johns turn into two versions of naked Pops.)
Mordecai: Ugh! (He runs away.)
Rigby: Mordecai, wait! (Sighs)
(Cut to the Coffee Shop)
Rigby: If this doesn't take your mind off of Pops, nothing will.
Mordecai: What, coffee? Thanks, dude, but I don't see how...
Rigby: (turns Mordecai's face to the other way) No, dude. Margaret.
Margaret: (While taking an order) So, that's two sandwiches and one soda.
(Mordecai does a love stare.)
Rigby: Hmmm? Hmmm?
Mordecai: All right.
Rigby: (while shaking Mordecai) Hmmm? Hmmm? Hmmm? Hmmm?
Mordecai: (pushes Rigby) All right. It worked.
Margaret: Hey, guys!
(Mordecai stares dreamily at her until seeing her face looks like Pops'.)
Margaret: Can I get you something to drink, Mordecai?
Mordecai: Aaaaargh! (runs away)
(Cut to the Movie Shack Hut...)
Rigby: Come on, let's get some movies. That'll get your mind off Pops!
(Mordecai looks at all the movies)
Mordecai: (Cut to a bunch of movie covers with naked Pops on them) Aah! (Cut to another row of naked Pops movie covers) Ohh! (Covers his eyes) Ohh!
Rigby: See anything you like?
Rigby: I'll go see if they have Good Cop, Sad Cop. (While Mordecai groans, Rigby goes to the checkout. We see a man watching Planet Chasers: Starlight Excellent.) Hey, man, have any copies of Good Cop, Sad Cop? (The employee won't respond.) Hello?
VG: Sure, man. Let me check for you. (Types on his keyboard to check for Good Cop, Sad Cop.)
Rigby: So, no then?
VG: Oh, yeah. No.
Rigby: All right. Just these and whatever my friend's getting.
(Cut to Mordecai looking at a Cowboyz poster. He groans like he saw naked Pops instead of the cowboy.)
Rigby: I guess just these. (Pushes over the movies and notices the TV.) What are you watching?
VG: Planet Chasers: Starlight Excellent.
Rigby: Is it good?
VG: I watch Planet Chasers: Starlight Excellent all day everyday. All day, everyday...
(Anime characters fly around the screen as J-Pop plays. A character with black hair dressed in a blue suit runs away from an attacking UFO. The blue-suited character and another character with blonde hair and a tuxedo fight each other using superpowers. Stars pop out of the blue-suited character's eyes.)
Rigby: Aw, how do you watch that? It's like barfing rainbows in my eyes!
VG: I watch Planet Chasers: Starlight Excellent all day, every day.
Rigby: You already said that.
VG: I watch it all day, every day.
Rigby: Dude, you already said that. Don't you remember?
VG: All day, every day.
VG: I watch it all day, every day.
(The two characters fight each other again.)
VG: Every day.
(Rigby ejects the tape and grabs it.)
Rigby: I'm just gonna borrow this.
(Back at the house, Rigby puts the tape in the VCR)
Rigby: Trust me, man. This will make you forget.
Mordecai: (covering his eyes) No, no. I'm not looking at anything ever again. Every time I open my eyes, I see Pops naked.
Rigby: Just give it a chance.
(Rigby grabs Mordecai's arms.)
Rigby: Look at it! Look at it! Look at it!
Mordecai: Get off! I'm not looking at a stupid--
(Mordecai opens his eyes wide and sees Planet Chasers: Starlight Excellent on screen in all its glory. He is spellbound and his pupils expand to massive proportions.)
(Rolls of film fly out of Mordecai's eyes and into the bright TV screen.)
(Each film cel shows a piece of Mordecai's memory. Rigby tries to grab one, but things spiral out of control and Mordecai floats in the air, with film still flying into the TV. The music from Planet Chasers: Starlight Excellent grows faster and faster until finally everything stops and Mordecai drops onto the couch, the TV off.)
Rigby: Did it work?
(The TV shows 'THE END'. Mordecai groans and mumbles incoherently.)
Rigby: Mordecai! Do you remember seeing Pops naked? Pops naked? Nude? In the buff? Naked Pops, naked Pops, naked Pops! (Mordecai doesn't respond. His head is slumped onto his chest.) Awesome! Dude, it totally worked! Up high! (Mordecai doesn't take the hi-five.) Let's... get you some coffee.
(At the Coffee Shop)
Rigby: Margaret! The usual: two coffess, please. Better make that espresso.
Margaret: Hey Mordecai, you're back! Feeling better?
(Mordecai groans in response.)
Margaret: (nervously) Mordecai?
(Mordecai groans more and Margaret walks away to Eileen.)
Eileen: Oh my gosh, is Mordecai ignoring you?
Margaret: Is it just me, or does Mordecai look like he's been working out?
Rigby: Mordecai, snap out of it. We're finally gonna have some fun! Just two friends hangin' out, lettin' the good times roll! Like old times!
(A montage scene follows. Rigby puts on his 'TEAM RIGBONE AND MURDECAI' bowling gear and rolls a spare at the bowling alley. Mordecai stares straight ahead, slack-jawed and unresponsive. Next, Rigby tries to prank Muscle Man by throwing 'Balogna' all over his car, but Mordecai doesn't laugh or exchange a hi-five as Rigby yells in frustration.)
Rigby: Augh! Gimme back my friend!
(Outside Skips' house, Mordecai stands unconscious as Rigby talks to Skips.)
Rigby: He's been like this ever since he watched a video. And now he doesn't remember any of the stuff we used to do!
Skips: Video? It wasn't Planet Chasers: Starlight Excellent, was it?
Rigby: Uh... Yeah, why?
Skips: We have to watch the tape.
(In the house, Skips sits with Rigby and Mordecai on the couch as Rigby presses play on the remote. The music kicks in, and Rigby and Skips are pulled into the TV via the film reels in their eyes. They land in a dark environment like Regular Show's title screen.)
Rigby: We're in! Wait, where are we?
Mordecai: We're in the tape, dude!
Rigby: Mordecai! Dude! We're here to rescue you!
Mordecai: What's the point? Whether I'm in here or out there, I can't forget about seeing Pops naked.
Rigby: Augh! You're still thinking about that? Get over it already.
Mordecai: You don't get it, dude! It's not something you can just un-see.
Skips: We have to change your memory.
Mordecai: What do you mean?
Skips: If we find your memory of Pops and cover it, you won't remember seeing him naked.
Mordecai: Where do we start?
Skips: Your memories are over there.
(Skips points past a lot of doors to one glass door that looks like the entry to the house. "Mordecai's Memories" is on its front.)
Mordecai and Rigby: Woah.
(The trio enter the door, and the room inside flips vertically to become the Coffee Shop.)
Rigby: Why are we in the coffee shop?
(Several different Mordecais, Margarets and Rigbys are standing around talking, joking, arguing, etc.)
Skips: These are his memories.
Rigby: Woah! (sees Mordecai whaling on him on a table) Oh, yeah, I remember that too.
Skips: This isn't the memory we need.
Mordecai: Yeah. We need to find Pops' room.
Rigby: Easy: let's go back to the house. There's the exit.
(Through the exit door is the video score, with VG watching Planet Chasers: Starlight Excellent.)
VG: All day, every day. (quieter) All day, every day.
Skips: Memory isn't logical. We'll have to keep looking 'til we find the-
(Through the video store door, they enter the park.)
Mordecai: The house! We're getting closer.
(The three enter the house. The stairs up to Pops' room suddenly grow to several times their normal length and the trio ascend through an Escher-style drawing of the house, covered with framed pictures.)
Mordecai, Rigby and Skips: Pops' room!
(The door opens. Pops is standing naked, facing away from the door.)
Rigby: Oh, gross!
Skips: Quick! Cover him with that blanket!
(Mordecai and Rigby grab the blanket and make to cover Pops, but the floor creaks under Mordecai's foot, causing Pops to turn toward the sound. Pops laughs, jumps out of the way, and so begins an epic chase through the house, with Pops escaping from the room by crawling on the ceiling.)
Mordecai: What... the...?
Skips: Get him!
(When the trio follow Pops through the door they fall from the sky onto the park grass. They chase Pops through a crowd of Bensons.)
Crowd of Bensons: You idiots... if you don't clean this place up... you're fired! You're fired! You're fired! (repeats) Hang on... you're fired! (keeps repeating)
(Pops escapes through a door to nowhere marked Exit. The trio follow him through and end up emerging from a couch, in a room with several couches, large and small. Through a trap door, they end up back inside the tape, chasing Pops.)
Rigby: (while sprinting) Pops isn't really like this. We're never gonna catch him! How come he's so fast?
Mordecai: I don't know! I just remember everything happening really fast. Like, I put down the magazine and all of a sudden Pops was there. It was just like he uh-- (Mustaches Monthly flies from the sky and hits Mordecai in the face.) Huh?
Rigby: (gasps) That's it! Just start remembering stuff, dude?
Skips: You have to use your memories to catch Pops.
Rigby: Think of something!
(Mordecai struggles to remember, and the golf cart appears piece-by-piece.)
Rigby: Think harder.
Mordecai: I'm trying!
(The golf cart appears in full.)
(The trio jump in the cart and Mordecai drives it towards Pops)
Rigby: He's still too fast!
Skips: Remember something to block his path.
Mordecai: I can't!
Rigby: Remember that time we ate all that cereal?
Mordecai: Yeah, we must have eaten like a million boxes because you wanted that lame Strong Johns figurine.
(A cascade of cereal and milk forces Pops to change his path.)
Mordecai: Uh... I remember when Margaret had that gigantic boyfriend!
(A giant, bald, musclar man appears. Pops nearly gets ground-punched as the guys in the cart cheer, but this turns the giant's attention to them, and the cart only narrowly avoids being crushed.)
Mordecai: Margaret's boyfriends were always really lame.
Skips: We have to cut off his path.
Mordecai: Uhhh... I remember that crazy steep cliff at the end of the park! (A huge cliff ramps upwards.) Ha ha, now he's got nowhere to go.
Rigby: He's not slowing down!
(Pops runs to the top of the cliff and gracefully dives off as the trio pull the cart to a halt right at the edge, watching him fall.)
Rigby: Now what?
(Mordecai turns the cart around and drives full-speed back towards the cliff's edge.)
Rigby: Dude, what are you doing?!
Mordecai: Getting rid of that memory.
(The cart falls through the air. Pops, laughing, is dancing as he falls down. Mordecai leaps after him with the blanket and manages to smother him, covering his body.)
Mordecai: I did it! I caught him!
(Mordecai finds the blanket is now empty and the ground is approaching fast. The three scream and get ready for impact.)
Mordecai: Uh... uh... I remember the time we ripped a hole in that kid's bouncy castle!
(A bouncy castle appears on the ground. The three land safely, but the castle deflates and screaming kids scatter in all directions.)
Rigby: Did it work?
Mordecai: Yeah, I think so. How do we get out of here, Skips?
VG: I think I can help.
(VG is standing next to them, looking clean-cut and eager.)
Rigby: It's the guy from the video store!
VG: There's a tape sticking out of that wall over there. Grab onto it and you should be home free.
Rigby: Don't you wanna leave, too?
VG: Nah. I'm kinda into not having to work for the rest of my life.
(The trio walk towards a massive TV and video as VG waves them goodbye. They grab the video sticking out of the wall.)
Mordecai: Here goes...
(The Planet Chasers: Starlight Excellent theme plays as the tape reels fly back out of the TV and into the bodies of Mordecai, Rigby, and Skips on the couch)
Mordecai: It's gone! Naked Pops is gone! I don't remember it anymore!
(Benson walks into the living room, wearing a towel, and sees all the film.)
Benson: What did you guys do? What is this mess? I can't even take a shower around here without you guys screwing things up--
(Benson's towel drops off. His gumball dispenser is open. The trio looks at him silently. The episode ends with the PC: SX theme playing before fading to black.)