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Mordecai: Alright dude, are you ready?
Rigby: I finished digging the pit, and the cones are all set up!
Mordecai: Extreme cartin'?
Rigby: Extreme cartin'!
Mordecai and Rigby: WHOAAAAA!
(M&R shuffle into the car, and they start it up. Mordecai steps on the gas, then, grabs the gear, and the car goes down the hill. They fly through the air in the car, and Mordecai turns the car in midair to land on a metal rail. They skid for a while, holding the poles of the car)
Mordecai: Hold it, hold it!
Rigby: I'm holding, I'm holding!
Mordecai: (steps on brake) Now!
(M&R let go of the poles. As the car jumps off the rail, Mordecai spins the wheel causing the car to do a three sixty. When the car lands, Mordecai skids through the scatter of cones, then switches gears, and the car flies into the air and lands in a big circular hole. Mordecai makes the car rotate along the outer rim of the hole for a couple rotations. The car then flies into the air, does another three sixty, and lands on the top of another hill. Mordecai hits the brake, then, M&R start panting, and, though still left breathless from all of what happened, they laugh)
Rigby: Hahaha, we did it, we did it!
Mordecai and Rigby: Yeah-yuh!
(they high-five. Then, all of a sudden, the car starts rolling down the hill. At the bottom, Mr. Maellard is walking with Benson, examining the park)
Mr. Maellard: Hmm. Hmph! Yup, the groundkeep on the grounds looks excellent! This park is really coming together. Well done, Benson!
(Benson and Mr. Maellard see the car, still rolling on its own. M&R run behind to try to stop the car, which crashes into the tree as Mordecai, Rigby, Benson and Maellard look on)
Benson: (enraged) Mordecai! Rigby! What have i told you about messing with the cart? If you think-- (Mr. Maellard puts his hand on Benson's shoulder)
Mr. Maellard: My office, now! (clock transition to Mr. Maellard's office. Maellard is chewing Benson out) Do you have any idea how much those carts cost?! (pounds on table) I'm not paying park money to fix your mistakes!
Benson: But sir--
Mr. Maellard: But nothing! (M&R listen outside of the office) I could find a new park manager right now if I wanted to!
Benson: (pulls out receipt) Don't worry, sir. The warranty will take care of everythng. (Maellard yanks the receipt and looks at it)
Mr. Maellard: That expires tomorrow afternoon!
Benson: But the dealership's too far away! I'll have to drive all day and night!
Mr. Maellard: Sounds like a personal problem! Get that cart fixed or you're FIRED!
(cut to a few seconds later. Maellard slams the door on Benson. Outside, Benson walks out, still steamed, as M&R follow)
Mordecai: Benson, we're sorry. We'll make it up to you.
Rigby: Yeah, we can help you get to the dealership!
Benson: (turns to M&R) No! You two only screw things up! I am getting that car fixed by myself, so stay here!
Mordecai: But that drive is way too long for one person to handle!
Benson: I'll take my chances. (clock transition to a montage of Benson out on the road in . The crashed car lays in the bed of the truck once it clears up, his monitor flashes to turn right, and he goes in that direction. Benson drives through the canyon through sun, rain and fog before he stops at a gas station. Benson then drives the truck across the bridge as the montage ends. He passes by a sign reads, "Cart Dealership, 1000 miles") Alright, Benson. (checks watch) You're making great time. (focuses back on the road) As long as you don't stop, you can get to the dealership with time to spare. (looks in rear-view mirror) And then, as soon as you get back to the park, you can fire... (Benson sees Mordecai and Rigby as they peep their heads into view from the car) ...(slowly) Mordecai and RIGBY! AUGH! (hits the brake. Seconds later, Benson is yelling at M&R outside of the truck) I can't believe this! I thought I told you idiots not to come! Does the word "not" not process into your thick skulls?!
Rigby: Of course not! Wait, uh...
Mordecai: Look, Benson, we just wanted to help you make it across the country!
Benson: Shut up! Just shut up and let me think for a second. (sighs and pauses for a few moments) Okay. Ideally, you guys would be a million miles away from me now. But since I don't have time to turn around and take you back, you're gonna come with me! (zoom into face) And you're gonna do exactly what I say. (cut to some time later. Benson is giving one-word commands to M&R on what to do) Water! (M&R grabs the water from a shelf) Open! (M&R force the cap off) Mouth! (M&R try to pour it into Benson's mouth, but the truck runs over a rock, causing the water to spill on Benson) Augh! Napkins! (M&R get a pack of napkins from the shelf. Not seeing the twisttie, Rigby tries to rip the bag open, but the bag rips open, blinding Benson) No napkins! No napkins!
(some time later, a police car has pulled Benson over. Benson walks slowly, seemingly drunk, to the police man. Clock transition to MR&B back in the truck)
Mordecai: Benson, we're sorry.
Rigby: Yeah, the bag wouldn't open and the napkins--
Benson: No, no more. Here's what you guys are gonna to for the rest of the trip: Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Don't say anything, don't do anything. Just stop messing things up!
Rigby: Benson, why do you hate us so much?
Benson: (sighs) I don't hate you guys, I just hate some of the things you do. (pause) Okay, I really hate some of the things you do. I know you don't mean them, but I'm your boss and it's my job to push you to do better.
Mordecai: Is that why Maellard yells at you?
Benson: (laughs) You guys don't know how easy you have it. Let's just say, his yelling is way worse than mine.
Rigby: But is it worse than his face?
Benson: (pulls out a tape) Hey, do you guys want to listen to some electropop music?
Mordecai: Whoa, you listen to that?
Benson: Just on long car trips. It helps keep me awake.
(Benson puts the tape into the radio and electronic pop music starts to play. They start to dance, causing them to swerve and then stop on the roadside with another police car, and the police man dances with them. We then cut to the night. The music ends as Benson is seen falling asleep)
(Benson is still falling asleep)
Mordecai: Hey, Benson.
(Benson wakes up)
Benson: Huh, what?
Mordecai: Dude, you look pretty tired. How about I drive for a little while?
Benson: No, no, I'm perfectly fine.
Rigby: Come on, man. You've been driving all day, it's not safe.
Benson: (sighs) Alright. (Benson pulls on the side of the road. Then, he and Mordecai get out of the truck to switch their seats) I don't wanna sleep for too long, so wake me up in two hours. Only two hours, got it?
Mordecai: Don't worry, dude. You can trust us.
(Cut to some time later. Benson is sleeping in what used to be Mordecai's seat as the latter drives)
Mordecai: Check the map to see how much further is.
Rigby: (pulls out map) Where are we now?
Mordecai: Uh... (laughs upon seeing a road sign that reads "Now Entering Buttzland") Buttzland.
Rigby: Buttzland?! (laughs) Dude, we're really close to the dealership! (points to spot on the map) It's like only two inches away.
Mordecai: Dude, look, dude. (From Mordecai's point of view, we see another road sign that reads, "JoySpot Arcade, next exit") You thinking what I'm thinking?
Mordecai and Rigby: Video game pit stop! WOOOAAHHH!! (Benson is almost woken up) (Quietly) Wooaah!
(They leave the exit and go to Joyspot Arcade and run to the doors)
Mordecai: All right, let's do this. But only for thirty minutes, Benson's job is on the line.
(They go into the arcade and it goes to...well, several hours later, and Benson wakes up)
Benson: (yawns and looks at his watch) Huh? What?! (Benson runs into the arcade and finds Mordecai and Rigby playing a game and takes them outside)
Rigby: Turn it off!
Mordecai: How long were we in there?
Benson: (goes red) HOURS! You were in there for HOURS! Now we're never gonna make it to the DEALERSHIP in time! It closes in THIRTY MINUTES!
Mordecai: We're sorry. We didn't know it was daytime, there aren't any windows in the arcade.
Benson: Excuses, excuses! How am I supposed to trust you when all you give me are EXCUSES?! When are you two gonna learn that your actions have consequences?! Consequences that affect other people! (voice breaking) Like me! Don't you two understand? I'm about to lose my job! You may not care about keeping your jobs, but I care about keeping mine! Cause if I lose my job, I have nothing! Do you hear me? I have nothing! (He buries his face in his hands and sobs) Now if you'll excuse me, I need to take my last bathroom break as an employed man. (walks to a bathroom)
Mordecai: Dude, we really messed up.
(A few moments later)
Benson: (comes out of the bathroom) What? (sees that the truck is gone, screams and turns red then sees a guy with a motorcycle) Hey you! (runs to the guy) There were two guys with a truck that were just here. Do you know where they went?
Hillbilly: Oh yeah. They're taking a shortcut out to Highway 13 to the car dealership.
Hillbilly: Most dangerous highway in the country.
Benson: How much do you want for that bike?! (Cuts to some time later. Benson is riding the motorcycle onto Highway 13, catches up to the truck, jumps off the motorcycle, crashing it, leaps onto the car in the truck and opens the window of the truck) You idiots! That is the most dangerous highway in the country!
Mordecai: But it's the only way to make it to the dealership in time.
Benson: Get out of that driver's seat! (Mordecai moves to the middle seat and Benson sits on the driver seat) I am turning this thing around.
(They drive over a bridge which breaks and the ground begins to crumble)
Rigby: Guys, I don't think we can turn around.
(Benson and Mordecai see this in the rear-view mirror and scream)
Mordecai: Step on it! Step on it! (Benson speeds up) Benson, watch out! (Points to the spikes on the road ahead and Benson tries to swerve away from them but two spikes pop up, slashing off the rear tires, and they drive towards a canyon and a boulder is seen coming down the side)
(Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson scream, swerve away from the boulder then the two front tires explode and they scream again)
Benson: (shaking, panicked) We're all gonna die!
Mordecai: No we're not. We can fix this Benson. Rigby, you ready for some extreme cartin'?
Rigby: Extreme cartin'!
(They unhook the straps that hold the back of the truck and holding the car then Mordecai and Rigby get into the car)
Mordecai: Hold on. (Mordecai steps on the brake until the car falls off Benson's truck, then speeds back up to it and hooks the strap on the car) Take the wheel. (While Mordecai tries to hook the strap onto Benson's truck, Rigby screams to attract Mordecai's attention to the boulders hurling towards them and slides the car to the side and successfully hooks the strap onto Benson's truck ) Hang on, Benson! (Mordecai speeds up the car until it is in front of the truck and jumps over a large gap and does the "extreme cartin" trick like in the beginning of the episode) Hold it! Hold it!
Mordecai and Rigby: AHHHH!
(Mordecai makes a few turns with the crashed car and jumps into a giant hole which he grinds the car around it a few times until the car flies into the air with built-up speed. Mordecai and Rigby scream throughout the process and finally make it back to land. They make it to a road closed sign. Although they were whimpering, the car breaks through the sign and into the sky with lightning flashing)
Mordecai, Rigby and Benson: (in slow motion) WHOOOOOOA! (reverts back to normal speed when they are about to land) AHHHH!
(They finally make it through Highway 13 with clearing skies. They are about to get to the cart dealership)
Rigby: (weakly) Look...the dealership.
Mordecai: (weakly) We're almost there.
(At the cart dealership, there are two workers that are yearning for their job to be over)
Cart Dealership Employee # 1: Dude, its closing time, dude.
Cart Dealership Employee # 2: Yes! (The first employee tosses a key to the second employee) Dude, Countdown! Countdown!
Both employees: 10,9,8,7--
(zooms back to Benson's truck)
Benson: We're gonna crash! Pull the parking brake!
Mordecai: (gasps) Parking brake!
(Mordecai pulls the e-brake)
(The employees see the crashed car up ahead)
Cart Dealership Employee # 2: Huh?
(the car slows down to a stop)
Mordecai and Rigby: (groaning in pain)
Mordecai:(weakly) Hey...are you guys still open?
Cart Dealership Employee # 2: Let me guess, last day on the warranty?
(The top of the car falls in)
(Clock transition to a ambulance. The paramedic close the door, and the ambulance drive to the hospital. Inside, Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson are on stretchers and there are black belts around them so they won't fall off. The three of them have bandages on them, and Mordecai have a cast on his broken arm, and Benson have one on his broken wrist.)
Mordecai: Well Benson, at least we got the car to the dealership.
Benson: Yeah, but the truck is totaled.
Rigby: When does the warranty on the truck expire?
Mordecai and Rigby: ROAD TRIIIIIP!
(End of "Busted Cart")