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OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!
This page is the transcript for "Camping Can Be Cool".

(Episode begins at The Coffee Shop with the T.V. set to the weather channel.)

Mordecai: Big trouble in the Western Hemisphere. These teeth are gonna bite down on this snowstorm.

Rigby: Then this cloud is gonna punch some dude in the face.

Mordecai: More at eleven.

(They both laugh)

Margaret: Hey guys, do you need anymore-

Rigby: SSHHHHHHHH!!! This is it! (increases the TV volume)

Weather Girl: Your Weekend Weather Forecast. Hope you have your sunglasses ready. Because it'll be two days of clear skies and sunshine.

Mordecai: Sunshine!

Rigby: Sunshine!

Eileen: Oh, you guys talking about the weather? I love the weather.

Margaret: Why are you guys so interested in the weather?

Mordecai: We're going on a camping trip.

Eileen: Wow, really? I love camping. Camping is so cool. (to Margaret) Right, Margaret?

Margaret: (unsure) Oh, uh...sure. I've never been camping before.

Mordecai: You never been camping?

Rigby: What's wrong with you?

(Mordecai punches Rigby)

Margaret: No, it's alright. It's just never been appealed to me, I guess.

Rigby: Yeah, you probably would like it.

Margaret: Well...

Mordecai: Don't listen to him, Margaret. Camping can be really cool. There's hiking in the mountain, and looking at the stars at night, we even got a secret camping spot.

Eileen: That's so awesome. I wish we could go with you guys.

Mordecai: Why don't you?

Rigby: What?

Margaret: What?

Eileen: Really?

Mordecai: Why not? The more, the merrier, right?

Margaret: I don't know...

Eileen: C'mon, Margaret. It'll be fun.

Margaret: Okay, I guess it could be cool.

Eileen: (hugs Margaret) Yay!

Rigby: You probably shouldn't go, Margaret. I bet your boyfriend won't like you going out on a camping trip with two dudes.

Margaret: Ugh, what boyfriend? Not seeing anyone right now. Guys are jerks.

Mordecai: Gah, I know, right? Guys are the worst! (pulls a face expression at Rigby) So it's settled we're all going camping.

Margaret: (laughs) How can I argue with enthusiasm like that?

(The scenes shows Margaret's car going out from The Park. Everyone seems to enjoy the trip, except for Rigby. The scenes shows the car going to the National Forest)

Park Ranger: Morning.

Margaret: Hi! (the park ranger is pointing to the radio) Oh, uh... sorry. (turns off the radio)

Park Ranger: Where y'all heading today?

Margaret: Oh, um... (to Mordecai) Hey, where's this secret-

Mordecai: We're just heading up to the camp grounds.

Park Ranger: Oh, Vine Rich or Valley Fields?

Mordecai: Yeah, mm-hmm. (shakes his head)

Park Ranger: (confused) Alright. Well, here's the map. (gives a map) Stick to the road and trails.

Margaret: Great.

Margaret and Eileen: Thank you.

Eileen: Alright. So, which way are we heading?

Mordecai: No, we don't need that. (takes the map from Eileen) Just stop up right here.

Margaret: What? Right here?

(The car stops and the sign says 'Restricted No Public Access')

Mordecai: (to Rigby) Ok, go, dude.

Rigby: Excuse me, gettin' out. (opens the gate)

Eileen: Wait. What are you guys doing?

Mordecai: We told you. Secret Spot!

Margaret: But it says "Restricted". I don't think we're supposed to be-

Mordecai: No, it's fine. We always do this. Just trust me.

(Margaret drives inside. Inside, they get out of the car and see a camping spot.)

Margaret: So, this is your secret camping spot?

Mordecai: Yeah, we always come here. It's really far from the other campsites, so no one bothers us.

Eileen: Are you sure we won't get in trouble?

Mordecai: It's fine, it's fine. You guys ready for the best part? (walks off) Check this out.

(Margaret and Eileen opens up two trees to show two waterfalls and a river, both wows at the beautiful view)

Mordecai: (stares at Margaret) Not bad, right?

Margaret: (stares at Mordecai) Mordecai, it's beautiful.

Rigby: (offscreen) Hey, Mordecai, where are the matches?

Mordecai: What?

Rigby: (offscreen) The matches! I wanna cook some hot dogs.

Mordecai: Uhhhh, they should be in that pack, dude.

Rigby: (offscreen) I can't find 'em.

Mordecai: Awwwwwwwwwwwww! Give me that. (takes the pack and looks in it) They're not in here.

Rigby: You forgot them?

Mordecai: What do you mean I forgot them?

Margaret: (runs up to Mordecai and Rigby) Don't fight! They probably just fell out of the bag or something.

Eileen: It's cool, guys. I got it. (by rubbing two sticks together she made a fire and blew it to make it bigger)

Mordecai: Did you find the matches?

Eileen: No, I just did it the old-fashioned way.

Margaret: Wow, Eileen. I didn't know you were so handy.

Eileen: Yeah, I used to get lost in the woods a lot.

Margaret: When you were a kid?

Eileen: Last year. It was kind of a phase I was going through.

Margaret: Oh, well. Good job, Eileen.

Rigby: Yeah, that was kinda cool.

Eileen: (blushes from what Rigby said)

Rigby: Uh... (picked up hot dogs) Catch! (threw hot dogs to eileen right in her face. The hot dogs fell in her hands and her face was red)

Eileen: (looks down at the hot dogs) Oh, nice! These are really good hot dogs. (which the hot dogs said were "super extra premium hot dogs real ingredients")

(Then we go to a montage when first they eat some hot dogs from the fire, then go hiking to a water fall, then go swimming, then when walking they see a deer that Margaret tries to take a picture of, and when she was about to pick up a frog. She saw Eileen with four snakes and Rigby showed a bite which grossed Margaret and Eileen out and saw the deer again for a second when Mordecai walked up)

(It was night and Rigby and Eileen were playing video games and Mordecai was with Margret laying on her car)

Margaret: Ahh. This is beautiful. The sky is so clear out here. (looking at a constellation) Do you know any of the, um... The, uh... (puts her hand on her head) The thingies?

Mordecai: Thingies?

Margaret: Yeah, the, uh...

Mordecai: Constellations?

Margaret: Yeah, yeah, constellations.

Mordecai: Oh, those thingies.

Margaret: (elbows Mordecai) Be quiet.

Mordecai: Yeah, I think that's a "Ursala Merger" right there. (pointing at a constellation) See like the handle and the ladle?

Eileen: It's called Ursa Major, not "Ursala Merger", and that's not even it, that's Orion. (not looking up from her video game)

Rigby: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! And she didn't even have to look up!

Rigby, Margaret and Eileen: (laughs)

Mordecai: Okay, okay, so I don't know those thingies. Okay, wait. I can show you something cool. Give me your keys. (gives keys to Mordecai. He opens a car door and sticks the key onto the switch that turned the ignition, turns on the audio system to some romantic music, closes the door and gets back on the car)

Margaret: Ah, nice save. (Margaret lays down and there hand go close to each other)

Mordecai: So...you, uh... you still taking those classes?

Margaret: Yeah, yeah. This semester's been crazy, just been working all, and these extra projects... Well, you know.

Mordecai: Yeah, but that was art school. It's different.

Margaret: Ah, I just can't wait until I can finally quit my dumb job.

Mordecai: Ah, what? Then where will I get my coffee from?

Margaret: The coffee will still be there

Mordecai: Yeah, it...just...wouldn't be the same. So, you don't think all guys are jerks, right?

Margaret: Wait. Did you hear that?

Mordecai: What?

Margaret: (listens and hears nothing) I dunno.

Mordecai: It's just the sound of the wilderness. Probably just that deer we saw earlier.

Margaret: Hmm... (rolls back over to Mordecai) So what were you saying? (hear thunder and it starts raining)

Mordecai: I guess we should set up the tent. (looks in the pack for the tents) Rigby, where'd you put the tent?

Rigby: Uh...

Mordecai: Is it in the other bag?

Rigby: I didn't bring it.

Mordecai: Dude! I told you to pack it!

Rigby: Yeah, but I wanted to use the tarps like we always do.

Mordecai: Then where are the tarps?

Rigby: I forgot them.

Mordecai: What?! (the fire burned out

Margaret: (running over) What's going on?

Mordecai: We don't have a tent.

Eileen: It's okay, I brought mine. It's in the car.

Margaret: I'll get it. (attempting to open a door and seeing the keys are on the switch to the ignition) Dude! You locked the keys in the car!

Rigby: Smooth move. (Mordecai put his hand on his forehead.) you had to turn on the radio.

Mordecai: (a car shows up and beeps) Oh, great. Now the ranger's here.

Park Ranger: What are you folks doing out here? This area's restricted.

Eileen: I know, we're sorry.

Margaret: We locked our keys in the car.

Park Ranger: All right, I got some tools back at the station. But as soon as I get that door open, I want you outta here.

Margaret and Eileen: Okay, thank you. (he leaves)

Rigby: Oh, great! Now we gotta wait in the rain for that guy to come back. 

Eileen: Hey! (with a stick tent that got started) Let's build a shelter! (they help Eileen put it together) Go grab some more dead branches. (Margaret does and picks one pulls it off a tree and goes by some bushes when the deer pops out. She screams, then chuckles nervously.)

Deer: Take filthy hands off branches!

Margaret: What?!                                      

(The deer comes out of bushes, revealing he is half human)

Margaret: Mordecai!!!!! (drops sticks and runs to Mordecai)

Mordecai: What? What is it? (the deer comes walking toward them) Ahh! Whoa, hey. What's up, man?

Stag-Man: I have been watching for years now. Bringing your filthy machines into my forest, setting her a blaze, drowning out her natural voice with your terrible music. And I've had enough!

Mordecai: Look, we're sorry, dude. We're not trying to ruin your home. We love the forest. Right, guys? (everyone says an answer)

Stag-Man: Just like mother said she loved me and not to follow her back to the city?

Mordecai: Wait, what? 

Stag-Man: You disgust me. My forest is ruined! And now I will count to ten and hunt you for food.

Everyone: What?!

Stag-Man: Do not fear. I will use all your parts. Nothing wasted. One...

Mordecai: Oh, dude!

Stag-Man: Two... (they all ran and Eileen picks up a rock) Three... (Eileen busts a window on the car and goes in to hit the horn.)

Eileen: Come on, come on!

Stag-Man: Four... (tries to take out bow and arrow from the top but his antlers are too long and they all get in the car except the Stag-Man. Margaret flips the key on the switch but the engine fails to start.)

Margaret: The radio drained the battery! (Rigby frowns at Mordecai)

Stag-Man: Five, six...(takes the bow and arrow out from under his feet)

Everyone: Come on, come on, come on, come on! (the engine fires and starts.)

Stag-Man: Seven, eight, nine, ten! (started chasing after them)

Margaret: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!

Mordecai: We're gonna need to go faster! (the Stag-man was catching up to the car then Mordecai and Rigby opened the trunk and threw sodas at him which made him more mad)

Mordecai: Ahhhh!! Dude, get me something else to thow at him! (Mordecai slamed a lantern in his face which held him back)

Rigby: In your face!

Mordecai: I think we lost him. (just then he jumped on the top of the car)

(Everyone screams. He cut a knife throw the top, which made Margaret's swerve out of control down a hill and the deer fell off he shot a bow and arrow at the tire and they stopped by hitting a tree they got out of the car and ran the deer jumped on the front of the car and jumed off mordecai saw another road)

Mordecai: There's the highway! Come on! 

(The Stag-Man shot three arrows beside them and one under them. They got to the high way where the park ranger was coming)

Rigby: Over there! Look! Someone's coming!

(all called for help when the Stag-Man was about to shoot them with arrows the park ranger swerved around them)

Park Ranger: Ahhhh! (he went around them and hit the Stag-Man)

(the next morning)

Park Ranger: All right, you folks better move it along. now Nothing more to see here.

Margaret: What's gonna happen to him? (seeing a gut throw the deer in park ranger's truck)

Park Ranger: We've got special proto call for situation's like that. You all drive safe, now you hear? (they drive away and park ranger goes to the back of his truck where the National Forest Employee is) Did you get the boys to call up the taxidurbist?

National Forest Employee: Isn't this kinda strange? (looking down at the deer)

Park Ranger: No, we'll just...tsk, tsk...put some clothes on the human-y parts 

(back in the car)

Mordecai: Sorry about this, Margaret.

Margaret: I don't know; it wasn't all bad. I liked your secret camping spot.

Eileen: I ate seven hot dogs.

Rigby: And you totally busted Margaret's window open with a rock!

Eileen: Oh, yeah. Sorry about that, Margaret.

Margaret: It's okay. I'm just stoked I survived my first camping trip. (looks to Mordecai on the rear mirror) Thanks, Mordecai.

Mordecai: (chuckles) No problem. See, I told you camping was cool.

Everyone: (laughs and episode ends)

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