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OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!
This page is the transcript for "Go Viral".

(Episode begins with Mordecai and Rigby fighting with Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost about the computer sign-up sheet)

Mordecai: Dude! Get off the computer, Muscle Man! Read the sign-up sheet! We're signed up for 1:30!

Muscle Man: Hey, chill out, you jerks! We still have 5 minutes. (pushes Mordecai & Rigby away) Go wait in the lounge.

Rigby: Fine! 5 minutes!

(Mordecai and Rigby sit on chairs in the Computer Waiting Lounge)

Muscle Man: Aw, yeah! More internet videos!

(Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost play the Old Man Horseshoes video. In the video, an old man is playing horseshoes, but gets struck by lightning and turns into a pile of ashes)

Muscle Man: (laughs) Old Man Horseshoes, you're pathetic! (Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost laugh)

Rigby: I saw that one coming.

Hi Five Ghost: Oh, dude! Road Hog!

Muscle Man: Oh yeah! That's a good one!

(Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost play the Road Hog video. In the video, Road Hog attempts to drive his car across a canyon, but he fails and crashes into the other edge of the canyon. Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost laugh)

Muscle Man: (notices Mordecai and Rigby grimacing at him) This is some hilarious stuff, losers! It's got a setup, a punchline, a dude gets hurt! Come on!

Mordecai: Still not funny.

Muscle Man: Get over here!

(Mordecai and Rigby move their chairs over to the computer)

Muscle Man: (typing) You guys are gonna thank me for this.

(A video plays where a guy is drinking soda. Wedgie Ninja sneaks behind him and gives him a wedgie. Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost laugh)

Mordecai: I-(interrupted by Muscle Man)

Muscle Man: Uh uh uh! Wait for it...

(Scene goes back to video)

Guy: Why, Wedgie Ninja?

(All of a sudden, a bear falls on the guy and plays the glockenspiel. Then he farts on the guy)

Guy: Oh, my back!

(Scene changes back to computer room, where Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost are seen laughing)

Muscle Man: (laughs) He just farted on that guy's back!

Mordecai: (to a laughing Rigby) Why are you laughing, dude?

Rigby: That dude did get hurt! Plus the bear farted on his back!

Mordecai: Dude! Muscle Man, Wedgie Ninja? Glocken Bear? This viral video stuff is stupid.

Muscle Man: What? Bro, if it's so stupid, why does it have so many hits?

Mordecai: Me and Rigby could come up with a video that gets way more hits than that.

Rigby: Yeah!

Muscle Man: In your dreams! Me and Fives could get way more hits than you dorks.

Mordecai: No you couldn't.

Muscle Man: Yes we could! Ten bucks says we can make a better video than yours by the end of the week.

Mordecai: You're on. (Him and Muscle Man shake hands)

Muscle Man, Mordecai, and Rigby: Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm!

(Begins a montage set to the song "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by Pat Benatar.  The montage consists of Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost making viral videos. M and R's videos only get a small number of views, while MM and Hi Five Ghost's videos get a large amount of views. The montage ends and the scene goes to the computer room)

Muscle Man: Pay up, losers!

Mordecai: No way! The week's not even through yet!

Muscle Man: We're like a million views ahead of you! You might as well just give up!

Mordecai: No! We'll have an awesome internet video by the end of the day!

Muscle Man: How much are you going to bet on that?

Mordecai: Double or nothing!

Muscle Man: Aw man! We're gonna be rich!

(The scene changes to outside Pops' House, where M&R are making a viral video)

Mordecai: Okay, best internet video ever! Take one.

Rigby: Wait, what do I do again?

Mordecai: Yeah, so, just start jumping, right? And get some major air. And I don't know, then like, do some awesome backflips or something.

Rigby: (starts jumping) Right. Are you getting this?

(Mordecai thumbs up)

Rigby: Wooo! Wooo! (Rigby starts jumping and kisses his muscles, and pretends to play guitar)

Mordecai: Hmm, still not going high enough. I know, let me try something.

(Mordecai walks onto the trampoline. Mordecai jumps when Rigby hits the trampoline, but Rigby flies to the tree and bangs his head on the branch)

Mordecai: (gasps) Rigby!

Rigby: Ugh!

Mordecai: Dude, are you okay?

Rigby: Dude... that was AWESOME!

Mordecai: That's called a double-jump!

Pops: Is this one of those new fangled movie cameras?

Mordecai: Oh, Pops, You don't wanna touch that, we're trying to make a movie.

Pops: *gasps* Does your movie have sound? Back in my day we used to call those talkies.

Mordecai: Ha'yeah, we're making a movie about jumping on the trampoline.

Pops: We used to call those jumpies. Can I be in your jumpy?

Rigby: Dude, Mordecai, if we put more weight on the trampoline, we could get more air, right?

Mordecai: Yea, ok, but...

(Rigby points to Pops who sees a nickel on the ground)

Pops: Oh, somebody's dropped a shilling!

(Reaches for it and his head lands on the ground with his body in the air and laughs)

Mordecai and Rigby: You wanna be in our movie, Pops?

(Cuts to the three jumping on the trampoline.)

Mordecai: Triple jump!

Pops: Whee! Oh ho ho!

Mordecai: Hmm. I guess that was pretty high. But it wasn't a million views high.

Rigby: What we need is more power.

Mordecai: Yeah. Dude! I know exactly how!

(Cuts to Pops standing on top of the cart, with Mordecai holding a rope, at the top of which is hoisted a refrigerator.)

Mordecai: OK, Pops, you're going to do a double-jump with that refrigerator.

Pops: I'm going to be on the interwebs! Ho ho ho!

Mordecai: Alright, on three. One, two, three!

Rigby: Jump!

(Pops jumps, and flies to the heavens, laughing.)

Mordecai: Dude, this is gold!

Rigby: Wait til Muscle Man sees this!

(Pops screams and laughs, still flying upwards.)

Mordecai: Dude, look how high he's goin'!

(Pops disappears through a loophole in the sky.)

Rigby: Dude, where'd he go?

Mordecai: Don't worry, he'll fall down any second.

Rigby: Dude, he's not comin' down!

Mordecai: Oh, no. Oh no! Dude, we've gotta go get him!

Rigby: What? But we've still got to take care of the viral video.

Mordecai: Dude, he could be dead. I'm going after him and you're coming with me.

(Cuts to Mordecai and Rigby on top of the golf cart, with Mordecai again holding the refrigerator rope. Rigby has the camera.)

Mordecai: Ready?

Rigby: Just a sec. Might as well have a follow-up video.

Mordecai: OK. One, two, three!

(Mordecai and Rigby jump, and fly to the heavens, screaming, disappearing into the loophole. Cuts to Mordecai and Rigby in what looks to be the inside of a computer. Various viral videos are shown on screens.)

Mordecai: Huh?

Rigby: Woah. This footage is gold! We'll definitely beat Muscle Man with this.

Mordecai: Priorities, dude. First we get Pops. Wherever he is.

Rigby: What is this place?

Mordecai: Kinda looks like an insane asylum.

Rigby: Hey, look: it's Wedgie Ninja!

(A screen of Wedgie Ninja is showing.)

Wedgie Ninja: Help me.

Mordecai: What?

Warden of the Internet: What's your name?

Pops: Pops.

Rigby: It's Pops!

Warden of the Internet: Step over to your right, Pops.

Pops: Is this my passport photo for the interwebs?

Warden of the Internet: Sort of.

Pops: Ooh, I love photos. I am ready, madame.

Warden of the Internet: Say 'doomed for eternity.'

Pops: Doomed for eternity! Oh!

Rigby: No!

(Screen of Pops endlessly bouncing on a trampoline shows.)

Mordecai: Who are you and what did you do to Pops?

Warden of the Internet: My job. I'm the warden of the internet. Pops made the mistake of trying to make a viral video.

Mordecai: So?

Warden of the Internet: The internet should be a serious place used for writing research papers and maybe for keeping in touch with relatives once in a while. These silly viral videos are a disease. They must be contained.

Mordecai: Dude, that's not fair.

Rigby: Yeah, we're just trying to make entertaining videos.

Warden of the Internet: Wrong! All these people need to be punished, forced to live their stupidity on repeat forever.

Rigby: You're insane.

Mordecai: It's not even Pops' fault. He was just doing us a favor. Isn't that right, Pops?

Pops: I don't like the interwebs, Mordecai and Rigby!

Warden of the Internet: Wait a minute. Mordecai and Rigby? You're supposed to be in Pops' video. Now I have to reconfigure the laser video transporter for two more criminals that will spend eternity in endless loop for their interweb crimes.

(The screens all pause and the people within ask what's going on.)

Mordecai: Dude, get Pops.

(Rigby runs off screen.)

Mordecai: People of the internet: we're gonna get you out of here but we've gotta leave right now. Go into all the videos and get as many people as you can.

(The video screens all start to evacuate and shrink into the ground.)

Rigby: Pops, jump!

(Pops jumps from his screen into Rigby's arms, and Rigby backs into a red power button, turning the Warden's screen on.)

Warden of the Internet: Crimes! What? You!

Mordecai: Guys! Up here!

(Mordecai, Rigby and Pops escape through a screen. The Warden's screen breaks loose from its cables and chases.)

Rigby: Old man horseshoes!

Mordecai: Come on! Come on!

Warden of the Internet: You'll never get out of here alive!

(They find a car.)

Mordecai: Get in! Wait. Who's driving this?

Rigby: Roadhog!

(They scream as the car drives for the canyon.)

Mordecai: We're gonna die!

Pops: Look!

(A portal appears in the air. Mordecai, Rigby, Pops, and Old man horseshoes jump out of the car and through it. Mordecai is carrying Roadhog. They arrive back in the computer where the viral characters are waiting.)

Mordecai: Alright, everybody. To the portal - quick! Come on, come on! Now you, Pops!

(Pops makes to jump but the Warden grabs him by the ankle with her cables.)

Mordecai: No!

Warden of the Internet: Ha ha ha! Huh?!

Rigby: Wedgie Ninja!

(Wedgie Ninja is giving the Warden a wedgie.)

Wedgie Ninja: I don't know how much longer these panties are gonna hold!

Rigby: But-

Wedgie Ninja: Go, now! Guys... link to my video.

Rigby: We'll never forget you, Wedgie Ninja.

(The Warden's screen explodes as Mordecai, Rigby and Pops tumble into a portal. Cuts to the house. Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost are sitting on the front steps.)

Muscle Man: Where are those clowns? Probably skipped town because they know they won't win the bet.

(Viral characters tumble from the sky onto the trampoline. Mordecai, Pops, and Rigby land on top)

Muscle Man: What are you guys doin'?

Rigby: Mmmakin' viral videos!

Muscle Man: Huh?!

(Glockenbear falls from the sky, lands on Muscle Man, plays a brief jingle, then farts on Muscle Man's stomach. Camera pans out to a computer screen on WooHoo, where Mordecai and Rigby are watching this on video. Muscle Man is standing next to them.)

Mordecai: Ha ha ha! Oh, man, that's the best part. And two million views cannot deny.

Rigby: You know what else is the best part? Gettin' twenty dollars from this guy!

Mordecai and Rigby: Woaaaaah!

(Several viral characters join in with the woah. Pops laughs.)

Muscle Man: Don't you losers have somewhere to be?

(The episode ends)

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