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Grave Sights/Transcript

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OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!
This page is the transcript for "Grave Sights".

(Episode begins with the park workers outside. Benson has an announcement)

Benson: All right, listen up. The cart needs a new suspension system, I don't know why that would be.

(Mordecai and Rigby look around)

Benson (continued): The old cemetery is falling apart and the house is in need of general repairs.

Muscle Man: What's wrong with the house?

(The stair he's sitting on breaks)

Benson: That's what wrong with the house. The problem is, we don't have the money to fix any of it. So does anyone have any ideas for how we can raise the money to cover these costs?

(Rigby raises his hand)

Benson (continued): Yes, Rigby?

Rigby: What's in it for us?

Benson: If you come up with something successful, you'll get a... (Zooms in closer to Benson's mouth for the next three words) ...paid day off.

Mordecai and Rigby: What?

Muscle Man: Hey, I got some choice sports equipment in the shed! Let's have a sports tournament, and get physic--

(The stair breaks apart, and he falls through)

Benson: Any other ideas?

Pops: A bake sale!

Benson: No.

Skips: A concert?

Benson: Mmm...

Mordecai: Oh! Hey Benson--

Benson: No.

Rigby: We could--

Benson: No!

Mordecai: Come on, Benson, just hear us out!

Benson: (Moans) Fine. What is it?

Rigby: We could have a scary movie night!

Mordecai: Yeah, in the abandoned cemetery!

Benson: You guys want to see a scary movie there?

Mordecai: Yes.

Benson: You know what? That could actually work. That's not a bad idea!

Muscle Man: Aw, what?

Skips: Yeah. We had a movie night there a long time ago. It was a huge success!

Pops: Ooh! A night of the macabre in the crypt! How exciting!

Benson: Alright, it's settled then. (Gives everyone their jobs) Skips, you'll set up the chairs.

Skips: Hmph.

Benson: Pops, you'll be in charge of concession.

(Pops laughs)

Benson (continued): Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost, you'll be in charge of decoration duties.

Muscle Man: Yeah! (High fives Hi Five Ghost)

Benson: I'll be in charge of admissions. Mordecai and Rigby... (Pause) You're in charge of getting the movie and getting the word out. But if this doesn't work, you won't be getting a paid day off.

Mordecai: Pfft, it's gonna work.

Mordecai and Rigby: (Rapping) Because we know everything about scary movies, and you know nothing about scary movies! We'll save the park with our knowledge of scary movies!

Benson: STOP SINGING OR YOU'RE FIRED!

Mordecai and Rigby: Our... knowledge... of... scary... movies.

Mordecai: We'll go get the movie.

(Mordecai and Rigby go to Movie Shack Hut)

Mordecai: You find anything yet?

(Scene goes to inside the Movie Shack Hut)

Rigby: We gotta get this one!

(Screen goes to a videocasette of Mounties of Death: Hoser Spree)

Rigby (continued): Mounties of Death: Hoser Spree!

Mordecai: Eh, the book was better. (Puts back the tape) Oh, this is a classic of Italian horror!

(Screen goes to a VHS of Libraria: Beware the Dewey Dethimal System)

Mordecai (continued): Libraria!

Rigby: Dude, what is with you? Nobody's gonna want to read subtitles!

Movie Shack Hut Employee: Oh, so you guys think you know about horror? Come into my lair.

(Gets a DVD from under the counter)

Movie Shack Hut Employee (continued): This is from my personal stash.

(Mordecai and Rigby look at it and the screen goes up to show the case. Scary music is heard in the background.)

Movie Shack Hut Employee (continued): Zombocalypse 3D!

Rigby: Oh yeah, I saw this a few years back.

Movie Shack Hut Employee: No you didn't.

Rigby: Huh?

Movie Shack Hut Employee: This is the foreign boot-leg director's cut. 3 hours and 28 minutes of remastered pee your pants horror and gore that will make your eyeballs barf!

Mordecai: Wait. (Takes the tape out of the case) What kind of tape is this?

Movie Shack Hut Employee: Duh, Zetamax 3D, it's like the only way to truly experience this movie. Of course you'll need... (He groans as he  picks up the projector) one of these babies. The Zetamax Decktron LX. It'll make those zombies really pop.

Mordecai and Rigby: Whooooa..

(The employee smiles)

Mordecai: We'll take it.

Movie Shack Hut Employee: W Wise choice.  (He picks up  a bunch of dirty 3D glasses) Here, you guys are gonna need some of these babies. (Zooms in on the glasses) I'll go ring you guys up.

Mordecai and Rigby: Paid day-off!

(They high-five and it cuts to a montage)

(The montage shows Mordecai and Rigby going to the cementary to clean up which is covered in garbage, Mordecai and Rigby handing out posters but no one takes them, Skips is seen reading the newspaper, Mordecai and Rigby set up the projector, Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost are making decorations, Mordecai and Rigby hanging up posters, Benson at the Snack Bar and people show up, Mordecai and Rigby at Horror-Con passing out the posters, a line of people come to get their tickets at the Snack Bar and money is falling around Benson. Montage ends and goes to the cementary, Skips hands out the 3D glasses and Pops is making cotton candy)

Pops: Get your candy cob webs on a stick!

Benson: I can't believe it. They actually did it!

Muscle Man: I STILL think we should've had a sports tournament. If this movie night fails, which I know it will, I've got my sports gear here as a back-up plan.

(Muscle Man drops the equipment on the ground)

Muscle Man: You dudes are gonna thank me for this.

(Muscle Man walks away and Rigby starts the movie, the crowd cheers; the movie begins with the Zombie Slayer walking down a street)

Zombie Slayer: I was your average everyday kinda guy but that was before IT all happened. Before the satellite triggered the deadly necro virus and took everything I ever knew.

(A zombie comes out of a car window)

Zombie Slayer: Batter up!

(He hits the zombie with his bat which makes the zombie hit the screen and the title comes up)

Zombie Slayer: This is Zombocalypse 3D!

(The crowd cheers)

Mordecai and Rigby: Yeah-yuh! (They hi-five each other)

(The movie shows Zombie Slayer and his girlfriend in a house while the zombies are outside)

Zombie Slayer: Don't worry baby. I got these suckers. Baby?

(His girlfriend turns out to be a zombie)

Zombie Slayer: Oh, great!

(She tackles him and hisses; the crowd gasps)

Rigby: (Shaking) Oh man, oh man, oh man!

Zombie Slayer: Baby, you let yourself go real bad.

(She groans; Mordecai grabs Rigby's shoulder which makes Rigby yell and knock over the projector, causing the film to stop; the crowd boos)

Rigby: Dude, why did you do that?

Mordecai: I didn't know you'd freak out that bad.

Man: Hey I want my money back!

(Others agree and Benson, who's in the crowd, turns around to see Mordecai and Rigby)

Benson: Fix it! Fix It!

Mordecai: Come on, come on!

(They put the projector back on the box, Rigby blows on the tape then spits on it)

Mordecai: Aw, why did you spit on it?

Rigby: Shut up, shut up, shut up!

(Rigby puts it in the projector the wrong way and it doesn't work)

Mordecai: Dude, why isn't it working?

Benson: (Slamming his chair against the ground) Fix it! FIX IT! FIX IT!

(Rigby gets on the projector and shakes it; it causes rays to go out and into the ground while one of which hits a guy)

Man: Ow my kidneys!

(A zombie is seen awakening and Mordecai takes the tape out)

Mordecai: Aw dude, you put it in backwards!

(Mordecai puts it in the projector the right way)

Mordecai: There.

(The movie continues playing, the crowd cheers and Benson goes back to watching the movie)

Mordecai and Rigby: Phew.

Rigby: Hmph, hmph. Thanks for almost getting rid of our paid day-off, you loser.

(A zombie is seen coming out of the ground, rips the screen and walks toward the crowd)

Rigby: Whoa.....The zombies really do pop out at you.

Mordecai: Totally. That one is coming really far off the screen. Wait, we're not wearing our 3D glasses.

(The zombie walks up to a man and grabs his arm)

Man: (Chuckles) Hey guys, check this out.

Rigby: That's a real zombie!

(The zombie is about to bite his arm)

Mordecai: Oh man, oh man, what do we do?!

(Zombie Slayer grabs a round chainsaw blade)

Zombie Slayer: Hey, worm bait!

(He throws it and it decapitates the zombie)

Zombie Slayer: Heads up.

(The crowd cheers)

Mordecai: Muscle Man's sport stuff!

(They run to the pile, Mordecai picks up a discus, throws it, and decapitates the zombie)

Rigby: Dude, nice shot. (The ground shakes) What's happening now?!

Zombie Slayer: Okay, genius, let me put this in terms that you'll understand: (The zombies come out of the ground) The thing you just did, it's woken up the dead - and they're ticked off!

(The zombies walk towards the crowd and their arms are seen reaching towards the crowd)

Mordecai:  Dude, if anyone gets hurt, we won't get our paid day-off. We gotta keep the zombies away from the people.

(Mordecai grabs discus' and Rigby grabs javelins and they yell)

Man: (Reaches out towards the zombie) Oh cool.

(A javelin is thrown into the zombie)

Man: Aw man, zombie just took a hit!

(Various zombies are seen killed by discus')

Man: Whoa, did you see that zombie get a discus to the face?

(The crowd cheers; Rigby fights off the zombies and matches Zombie Slayer's moves in the movie, a zombie grabs Rigby's javelin)

Rigby: Whoa!

(The zombie pushes him which makes Rigby stab another zombie causing its head to be stabbed, Rigby hits 2 zombies and hits the one that pushed him)

Rigby: No!

(A javelin gets thrown into a zombie's back and it is shown that Muscle Man threw it)

Muscle Man: Yo guys! I told you this stuff would come in handy!

(3 zombies are seen walking near Muscle Man, HFG, Rigby, and Mordecai; Skips grabs a long stick laying against a tree)

Skips: Duck!

(Skips screams and runs towards the zombies while Zombie Slayer does the same thing on the screen; Skips stabs the 3 zombies, flips, and crushes their heads; Zombie Slayer is kneeling)

Zombie Slayer: Better fire up the grill 'cause I got me a zombie-kabob!

(The crowd cheers; Goes to Pops who's laughing while zombies go near him)

Pops: Now, now. Don't crowd, there's enough for everybody.

Mordecai: Pops!

(Mordecai throws a discus which decaptates all the zombies; a zombie grabs Pops' shoulder and screams)

Muscle Man: Hey worm hole! Get a tasty lick of this!

(Muscle Man throws a shot put ball and it decapitates it)

Benson: (Reaches out to a zombie) Wow, this is awesome.

(Mordecai screams; decapitates the zombie with a discus and the head bounces off Benson's head and he laughs thinking its 3D; Scene goes to a grave nearby with the name Howard "Hellion" Fightington and a big, muscular arm comes out of the ground)

Mordecai: Dude, I think we got them all.

(Howard walks in front of the screen and looks similar to the big zombie seen in the movie; Howard cracks his neck and growls)

Mordecai: Skips, look out!

(Howard growls and Skips kicks his crotch but it turns to dust)

Skips: Oh no.

(Howard punches Skips, picks him up off the ground, and throws him to where Mordecai and Rigby are; Mordecai and Rigby throw their javelins but Howard catches them and throws them at them; Mordecai and Rigby barely get away and they groan in pain as they fall)

Mordecai: Ugh, he's just too strong.

Rigby: Mordecai! A cart!

(The zombies are blinded by the cart headlights while Zombie Slayer is seen in a car)

Mordecai: Okay you lousy, undead creep-

Zombie Slayer: - You've taken a lot from me but if you think you're gonna deprive me of my-

Mordecai: -paid day-off-

Mordecai and Zombie Slayer: You're sorely mistaken!

(Both of them step on the gas and drive towards the zombies; Mordecai and Rigby nod to each other and leap out of the cart, surprising Howard and the cart explodes when it hits him, causing the screen to burn just as the movie ends; The crowd cheers)

Benson: Ha, yeah!

(Rigby is holding the box with money in it)

Mordecai: Dude, I think we totally did it.

Benson: (Laughs) That was great! It felt like I was in the actual movie! Aw man, you guys totally earned that paid day-off.

Mordecai and Rigby: (Hi-fiving each other) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Benson: And you're gonna earn another one cause we're doing this again tomorrow night, the exact same way.

(He laughs and walks away)

Mordecai: Uh.....do you think we can take that paid day-off tomorrow?

(The episode ends)

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