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This page is the transcript for "Hello China".


(Episode starts at Golden Garden. Benson is inside drinking a glass of water. A waitress walks over to him.)

Waitress 1: Did you enjoy your meal, sir.

Benson: You bet. Kung pao chicken and white rice, my favourite meal 3 years running.

(The waitress hands him a fortune cookie.)

Benson (continued): Ah, thank you. Ho ho, fortune cookie. Wouldn't wanna forget that. It's the highlight of my night.

(The waitress walks off. Benson signs before he opens his cookie. He reads the fortune.)

Benson (continued): "Adventure comes to those who seek it."

(He sits back and sighs again. He notices posters on the wall about China. He taps his chin in curiosity.)

Benson (continued): Hmm.

(Cut to West Anderson High. Rigby is walking down the sidewalk.)

Rigby: Hmm-hmm! Time to ace a foreign language class.

(Cut to Rigby in Spanish class.)

Rigby (continued): Buenos day-os!

(Cut to him in French.)

Rigby (continued): Bonjuice!

(Cut to him in German class.)

Rigby (continued): Greten-tag!

(Cut to him sitting sadly in the principal's office.)

Principal Dean: Well Rigby, you did it. You failed all your foreign language classes! Makes me so sad seeing you walking through the halls. (slumps into chair) A grown man floating around like a ghost.

Rigby: Why do I even need a foreign language anyway? It's not like I'll ever use it in real life. I can get by on my street smarts. Just walking around, talking to people, talking on the street, like "Hey, how you doin'?"

Principal Dean: Just pass a foreign language somehow and graduate already!

(He covers his face.)

Principal Dean (continued): I can't take this anymore!

(Cut to Pops' house, where Rigby is talking with his co-workers.)

Rigby: ...and then we just sat there crying for 10 minutes.

Mordecai: What are you gonna do, dude?

(The sound of a vehicle rolling up is heard, followed by Benson.)

Benson: Hello everyone!

(We are shown Benson standing in front of a taxi, with luggage in hand and a neck pillow around his neck.)

Benson (continued): I have a very shocking announcement: I'm gonna go to China and teach English for a month!

(The employees are happily surprised.)

Benson (continued): I know! They even cover my plane ticket.

Mordecai: Benson, do you even know any Chinese?

Benson: Uh, no. But I'm teaching English, so...

(The employees mumble.)

Benson (continued): Well, everybody, have a good month, and, uh. you know what I always say:

(He open the taxi door.)

Benson (continued): Adventure comes to those who seek it.

(The park groundskeepers wave. We hear Benson getting in and closing the door. He clicks his finger through the open window and holds the pose.)

Benson (continued): (to the driver) Close the window.

(The window closes and we see a close-up of Mordecai as the taxi drives off.)

Mordecai: So what are you gonna do about for foreign language, Rigby?

(We see a wide shot of the workers; Rigby is missing.)

Mordecai (continued): Rigby?!

(We cut to see a Chinese Airlines airplane flying in the air.)

Mordecai (continued): (offscreen) RIGBY?!

(In the plane, Benson is sleeping. He has headphones on, and a book open face down. The plane finally lands near the Chinese airport. A rickshaw driver is shown taking him down the road. A bus is seen driving past tall green mountains. Benson looks out the window in awe. He is then seen moving with the crowd in a marketplace.)

Benson: Does anyone know where the school is? Uh, xue xiao! Xue xiao?

(We cut to a close-up of the Chinese flag. We zoom to see the school Benson is teaching at; various students are walking around. Cut to Benson walking to his class, another man accompanying him.)

Principal Zhang: Oh, Benson. We're so excited to have foreign English teacher,

(As Benson is walking, it is shown that he is wearing a shirt that says 'I ❤ China'.)

Benson: Thanks so much, Principal Zang. Ghang?

Principal Zhang: Zhang!

Benson: Oh. I'm really sorry about my outfit. The airline lost my luggage.

Principal Zhang: (laughs) Uh, no. It's a good shirt.

(They walk up to the door of Benson's class.)

Benson: So, do I get reimbursed for my ticket now, or...

Principal Zhang: Ah, you only get plane ticket if your kids impress at the big English performance at end of semester. Huge assembly, whole school watching!

Benson: (chuckles) Seriously?


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