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"High Score" Transcript

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OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!
This page is the transcript for "High Score".

[Episode starts with Mordecai and Rigby raking leaves and Benson comes across in the golf cart]

Mordecai: [groans] What now? Look, we're working. See!

Rigby: Yeah, we're never gonna get done if you keep checking up on us!

Benson: Pay day, fellas.

[Mordecai and Rigby run towards Benson]

Mordecai: Yeah-yuh!

Rigby: Aww, nice! My favorite day of the every other week!

Benson: [hands Mordecai and Rigby each a bag of change] Here. [Mordecai groans] What, you don't like getting paid?

Mordecai: No, I'm just getting tired of the old sandwich-baggie full of coins. Why can't we get a check like normal people? Skips gets checks!

Benson: Skips has a bank account and a 401k.

Mordecai: Well, at least give us the coins in an envelope or something more respectable, 'cause this is degrading. [Benson drives away] I need to get out of here. [Cut to Mordecai and Rigby walking to the coffee shop] What's his deal? He doesn't respect us at all!

Rigby: Yeah, well that's his problem, right? We're respectable people!

[Mordecai and Rigby get knocked over by two skateboarders]

Kid 1: Outta the way!

Kid 2: Losers!

[Mordecai and Rigby shake their fists]

Mordecai: What the heck, man, watch it! [Cut to the coffee shop] See man, it's not just Benson, people just don't respect us!

Rigby: Well, we could buy people's respect.

Mordecai: Nah, too expensive. People respect people who are good at things. [Pan to crowd cheering around an arcade game. Mordecai and Rigby walk up to Margaret] Margaret, what's going on?

Margaret: The manager installed this new arcade game to keep the customers around. There kids are amazing at it, you should see 'em!

[Mordecai looks and sees that the kids are the skateboarders from before]

Mordecai: Dude, it's those kids! (to the kids) Hey, hey you!

Kid 2: What!?

Mordecai: When you knock people over, you have to say you're sorry! You guys need to learn some respect.

Kid 1: Respect our butts!

Rigby: No, you respect our butts!

Margaret: What are you guys doing!?

Mordecai: Those kids practically killed us with their skateboards outside.

Margaret: So!? They're kids! What are you going to do, beat them up or something?

Mordecai: No, but I am gonna kick their butts at this video game. [puts coin on the arcade game] Bam! I got next.

Kid 2: Nice baggie, must've been sad when you break open your piggy bank.

[The kids laugh]

Kids: Seven-hundred thousand!

Kid 2: [putting name on high score list] TRD, turd. [laughs] Nice!

Kids: [high-five] Yeah-yuh!

Kid 2: Beat that, gramps.

Mordecai: Gramps? I'm in my 20s.

Kid 1: Yeah, 1920s. [laughs]

Mordecai: Just move. [sits infront of arcade game, cracks knuckles and starts playing]

[Cut to Rigby and Mordecai sitting down at a table]

Rigby: How do you get negative points? How is that even possible?

Mordecai: It was the first time I ever played that stupid game! Give me a break!

Rigby: I'm just saying, you made us look like chumps, man.

Mordecai: Look at 'em.

[Pan to the kids being praised by the manager]

Manager: You guys really handed it to those losers.

Margaret: [walks over with plate of donuts] Free donuts for the champs!

[Kids eat donuts, crowd cheers]

Kid 2: All right, we're outta here.

[Kids exit, crowd speaks of amazement]

Margaret: [walking away] Weren't they amazing? I can't believe we were so enthralled by a video game, but we were!

Mordecai: I told you people respect you when you're good at something. And we're gonna get the respect we deserve by getting good at that game. [Mordecai and Rigby start playing the game] Okay, Broken Bonez.

Rigby: So are you trying to get broken bones?

Mordecai: Dude, c'mon, no, you just gotta go off these jumps and land without breaking your bones.

[Motorcyclist in game lands for 10 points]

Rigby: Alright, I think I got it. Here, gimme a shot. [mindlessly taps and turns]

[Motorcyclist does a trick and lands for 500 points]

Mordecai: Woah, how'd you do that?

Rigby: I dunno, that's what those kids were doing. Here, you do the joystick and I'll do the buttons. Just go crazy when we're in the air.

[Mordecai and Rigby tap and turn wildly, sound goes off]

Mordecai: Wow, another 500! Aww sweet!

Jack Farley: Aww, well not bad, not bad. You guys got some skill.

Mordecai: Some? What do you mean some?

[Jack Farley plays the game, Mordecai and Rigby play the game, Jack Farley plays the game again]

Jack Farley: C'mon, Jack Farley! [groans] Dangit! [Screen shows 5 broken bonez!] Well, I gotta hand it to you guys. You play better than you look.

Rigby: Okay?

Mordecai: Thanks.

Jack Farley: Stop by the office sometime if you wanna hang. [hands Mordecai a card] No charge. [cellphone rings] Yeah, Jack Farley? No! I said cell two, two!

Rigby: What was that all about?

[Pan to card, says 'Jack Farley thinks you're awesome' on it]

Mordecai: [gasps] Respect!

Rigby: Let's get some more.

Benson: (over wakie talkie) Mordecai, Rigby, come in!

Mordecai: Aww man, it's Benson. [reaches for walkie talkie] Yeah, uh, hey Benson. What's up?

Benson: (over walkie talkie) I need you guys to clean the bathrooms back at the house ASAP!

Mordecai: Uh, we're on our lunch break.

Benson: Look, if you guys aren't back in two minutes, you're fired!

Rigby: Gimme that! [snatches walkie talkie] We deserve more respect than this, Benson. Maybe when you realize that we'll come back to work. [throws wakie talkie in the bin]

Benson: (over walkie talkie) Rigby, Mordecai!

Mordecai and Rigby: Respect!

[Montage of Mordecai and Rigby versing people at Broken Bonez and gaining respect. Cut to the kids watching them play]

Kid 1: Oh look, if it isn't Mr. and Mrs. negative points! Guess we'll have to beat you two losers again.

Mordecai: Well, why don't you two come over here and try, then?

Kid 2: You got yourselves a rematch.

[Mordecai and Rigby verse the kids and win]

Kids: Aww man!

Kid 2: All right, you guys are good.

Mordecai: Thanks.

Kid 1: Woah, you guys are really good! You're close to beating the high score!

Mordecai: Woah, we are?

[Mordecai and Rigby's score: 950,000. High score: 1,275,640]

Jack Farley: Wait, who holds the high score?

Dude: Some dude named GBF, but it's not just a high score, it's the world record.

Jack Farley: Thanks, now I can follow along and feel invested! Go for it, guys!

[Mordecai and Rigby top the high score, everyone cheers. Margaret runs up and hugs Mordecai. The ground starts to shake and a beam from a lightning cloud shoots into the cafe. Garrett Bobby Ferguson appears]

Garrett Bobby Ferguson: So you've broken the world record, have you?

Mordecai: Yeah, who's askin'?

GBF: Me. [turns around]

[Crowd gasps]

Rigby: [makes sound of disgust] It's a giant bearded face!

Mordecai & Rigby: [gasp] GBF!

GBF: Yeah, I'm GBF all right, but it stands for Garrett Bobby Ferguson, not giant bearded face.

Rigby: You're not mad at us for breaking your world record, are you?

GBF: It's no big deal. Not like it's the universe record or anything important.

Mordecai & Rigby: Universe record?

GBF: It's the highest score in the whole universe, 1,279,001. Now who holds that record again? Oh yeah, me![Crowd runs up to Garrett Bobby Ferguson and stroke his beard] Yes, go ahead, stroke the beard of Garrett Bobby Ferguson.

Mordecai: Hey, giant beardo face!

GBF: I told you that's not my name!

Mordecai: Look, we're gonna settle this right now. Us verses you in a head to head match.

GBF: Fine! One game for the universe record. Winner gets all the respect. [sprouts arms and legs] [Mordecai and Rigby make a sound of disgust] Let's play.

[Mordecai and Rigby verse Garrett Bobby Ferguson. Cut to Mordecai and Rigby in the lead and Garrett Bobby Ferguson crying]

Mordecai: Dude, why're you crying, dude?

GBF: Please, please just let me win!

Mordecai: Dude, what are you talking about?

GBF: I've devoted my entire life to Broken Bonez. I played so much my wife left me.

[Crowd murmur in sympathy]

Mordecai: So you're asking us to throw the game?

GBF: Please, the universe record is all I have!

Mordecai: What do you think, man?

Rigby: No way! Nobody's gonna respect us if we wuss out now!

[Garrett Bobby Ferguson cries harder, the crowd murmurs in sympathy more]

Mordecai: It's not wussing out, man. It's called doing the right thing.

Rigby: Fine.

Mordecai: Okay dude, we'll let you have it.

[Mordecai and Rigby let go, screen shows 'Player 1: 1,250,000']

GBF: Thank you so much! [laughs evily] Thank you for being so dumb!

Mordecai & Rigby: What!?

GBF: I didn't devote my life to this cruddy game, it's just a hobby.

Mordecai: But what about your wife?

GBF: Never had one! You can't tie GBF down!

Rigby: You can't do that, that's cheating!

GBF: Universe rules, baby. There are no rules. [Crowd boo] Oh, boo yourselves! I'm Garrett Bobby Ferguson.

Mordecai: Aww, this blows! We gotta do something before he beats our score!

Rigby: No rules, right? Mess up, c'mon, mess up!

Mordecai: You know you want some broken bones.

Rigby: Broken bones!

Mordecai & Rigby: Broken bones!

[Crowd starts chanting 'broken bones'. Garrett Bobby Ferguson beats their score]

GBF: [laughs] It doesn't matter, I've already beat your score and taken the title and I'm never coming back!

[Game makes a noise]

Jack Farley: Wait, the game's still going!

Mordecai: Huh?

[Mordecai and Rigby start playing]

GBF: No, it can't be!

Mordecai: C'mon, c'mon!

[Garrett Bobby Ferguson starts throwing Mordecai and Rigby away from the game. He pulls on Mordecai]

Mordecai: Get off!

[Rigby bites him in the shin, Mordecai kicks him in the groin']

GBF: Oh, my Chin!

[Mordecai and Rigby furiously play. Score shows 1,300,000]

Mordecai & Rigby: Yeah!

GBF: NO!!! [explodes and covers everyone in a white liquid]

[Crowd cheers and surrounds Mordecai and Rigby]

Jack Farley: Great job, you did it!

[Crowd leaves, reveals Benson]

Mordecai: Oh, hey Benson, what're you doing here?

Benson: I thought about what you guys said earlier and so I've come down to give you those checks you wanted.

Mordecai & Rigby: Oh wow, thanks! [reach for the checks]

Benson: [pulls checks away] But now that I'm covered in brain goo, I've realised my mistake. (goes red) [starts tearing up checks] You wanna waste your lives playing video games, then fine, I respect your decision! Just don't ever do it on my time ever again!

Mordecai: I can respect that.

Rigby: Yeah, that's cool.


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