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This page is the transcript for "Limousine Lunchtime".


(Episode begins outside the park house with Mr. Maellard's limousine)

Benson: Alright, Mr. Maellard gets back from vacation today, so I need you guys to clean the limousine.

Rigby: Why don't we just wait 'till it rains? That's how I clean myself.

Benson: (Brief glare at Rigby) ......I want it looking as good as new when he comes in this afternoon. That means washed, waxed, and detailed. Got it?

Rigby: Yeah, yeah, we got it.

Mordecai: So, where are the keys?

(Benson has the keys in his hand)

Benson: Oh, you mean these keys?

Mordecai: Yeah.

Benson: Oh, no. I'll be holding onto these.

Rigby: Aw, what?! How are we gonna listen to the radio then?

Benson: Your job isn't listening the radio. It's to clean the car! (Turns red) DO IT BEFORE MR. MAELLARD GETS BACK OR YOU'RE FIRED!!

Rigby: Great—No radio. This is gonna be so boring!

(Rigby opens a limo door, and club music begins playing. The scene shows the inside of Maellard's limo with couches, a polar bear mat, a refrigerator, plasma TV screens, a sink, a telephone, and a back seat)

Mordecai and Rigby: Whooooa!

Mordecai: Dude, you know what's not boring? Limousine Lunch Time'!

(Mordecai takes out a bag, and the duo goes inside the limo)

Rigby: Yeah, now we're talking!

(Mordecai takes out two meatball subs from the bag)

Mordecai: Meatball suuub!

Rigby: Meatball suuub!

(Rigby chews on his meatball sub with dramatic music playing, and one of the meatballs falls out of his sub in slow motion)

Rigby: (In slow motion)  Aaaaah!

Mordecai: (In slow motion) Noooooooo!

(Mordecai tries catching the meatball, but it falls onto the seat before he can get to it and splatters)

Mordecai: Rigby!

Rigby: Stay cool, man! It's just one meatball. Oh!

(Rigby grabs the meatball that fell, but it slips out of his hand in slow motion and hits Mordecai in his eye)

Mordecai: Ugh! My eyeball!

Rigby: (Grunts) Whooooa!

(The duo's subs fall out of their hands and land onto the seat. Once they see the mess, they scream. The next scene shows Mordecai trying to wash the stain off.)

Mordecai: Agh! It's still there!

Rigby: Don't worry, dude—I got it. This is my mom's special cleaning formula. (Rigby pours soda and vinegar into the cleaning bucket) Club soda, vinegar, and some elbow greeease! (Rigby starts washing out the stain, but it wouldnt come off) By the power of my mom, stain be gone!

Mordecai: Hmm, maybe that's why the house is never clean. (Groans) We're so fired!

Rigby: Hey man, it could be worse. (Sees the meat sauce on his hand dripping onto the floor) Huh?

Mordecai: (Gasps) Dude!

Rigby: I'm sorry! I didn't know I had it on me! (Rigby slips on the meat sauce and falls onto the floor. The meat sauce splattered all over the limo) Agh!

Mordecai: Dude, stop moving!

Rigby: (Shouts indistinctly)

(Mordecai grunts and grabs Rigby and they both fell onto the ground, moaning. The limo is now splattered with meat sauce.)

Mordecai: We got to get Skips.

(Scene transitions to Skips examining the stain)

Skips: Huh. Yeah, this is pretty bad. Maellard loves this limo; almost more than he loves Pops.

Rigby: Can you fix it?

Skips: Nope. I know a guy who runs an auto-body shop, though. He could fix it for you.

Mordecai: We got to get the keys from Benson.

Rigby: Aw.

(Scene transitions to a TV, which is playing 'Better Bosses'. Benson is watching it intently. Mordecai and Rigby attempt to get the keys by inserting a stick through a window behind him. They try to make as little noise as possible.)

Man on TV: The key to being a better boss is—diligence. Keep your eyes peeled. Never lose focus. Act as if your employees are right behind you at all times.

Benson: Poetry.

(Scene transitions outside to an auto-body shop with M and R standing outside with Mr. Maellard's limo)

Mordecai: Hello? Hello?!

(A man named Roger is underneath a car, fixing it)

Roger: We're closed!

Mordecai: But --

Roger: We're closed!

Rigby: This is an emergency! We got a limo!

(The man rolls out of the garage)

Roger: Limo?! (Gets up in their faces) What do you know about limos?! Huh?! (Looks at Maellard's limo) Well, I'll be. What are you boys doing with Mr. Maellard's 'White Stallion'?

Mordecai: You know this car?

Roger: Heh, know it? Heck, I used to drive it!

(Roger pulls out a wallet with many photos of him when he drove the limo)

Mordecai and Rigby: Whooooa!

Roger: Yep, I used to be Mr. Maellard's chauffeur back in the day. The name's Roger. Yep, it was good times driving this car—Me and the Stallion cruising the Financial District together. So, what's the trouble with her? (Roger opens the door to the limo and looks at the stains) What is that—Pomodoro, Marinara?

Mordecai: Uh, meatball sub.

Roger: Hmm. All right, it won't be easy, but I'll see what I can do. Bring her in!

Mordecai: Thanks so much!

(The duo backs the limo into the garage, but the metal in the back scrapes against a wall)

Mordecai: (Gasps) I-It'll be fine. I'll just adjust it.

(He tries to move the limo' foward, and the metal scrapes again. The duo gets out of the limo and screams.)

Rigby: You can fix this, right?!

Roger: I'm a mechanic, not a magician.

Rigby: Dude, what are we gonna do?! Mr. Maellard's picking up the car in a few hours!

Mordecai: Face it, dude. We can't get out of this one. Let's just take it back.

(The duo sigh)

Roger: Actually, I know a way to get a limo just like this one.

Mordecai and Rigby: How?!

Roger: There's a place where he richest of the rich gather—A secret place where the limos duke it out and the winner gets a brand-new limo. Limo...Demolition...Derby. It's the only way you're gonna get a new limo in time, unless you boys got a million bucks handy.

Rigby: (counts the coins on his hand) How much is a million?

Mordecai: We'll do it.

(The scene changes to the gang driving the limo to the Limo Demolition Derby. The limo stops at a brick wall, with Roger honking the horn, which presumed to be the secret code. The brick wall was revealed to be brick gates, to which it opens and the gang drives the limo inside. The limo then drives into an arena with cheers and applause. Mordecai and Rigby then stick their heads out the roof of the limo.)

Mordecai and Rigby: Whooooa!

Man: Welcome to the Limo Demolition Derby, boys!

(There were men dressed in black suits cheering and applausing)

Roger: Don't look into the eyes of the millionaires! Their greed will blind you! (M and R both wimper) Now, the rules are simple, boys. When the ref rules your limo undriveable, you're out. But the last one standing gets to take home the prize limo—A brand-new White Stallion!

(Rigby points to the new limo)

Rigby: Dude, there it is!

Mordecai: We have to win it.

Roger: Hang on, fellas! Let's talk strategy first. There's a couple of things of you should know before you go out there. One, go for the stretch limo first. It's at a disadvantage 'cause it's too long. Two, if you see a Jeep limo, take out its back wheels. Three, it's a scientific fact that gold limos are heavy. So take it to the mud, and that nugget will sink. You got all that?

Mordecai and Rigby: Uh...

Roger: Of course you do! You two are responsible! Now go out there and win that limo so Maellard doesn't tear you limb from limb!

(Mordecai and Rigby stares at the gold trophy)

Announcer: Chauffeurs, start your engines!

(Cars begin to start their engines)

Announcer: On your mark, get set, go!

(The chauffeurs hit their cars' gas, the man in the blue suit laughs. Unfortunately, the cars bump into each other. The crowd cheers)

Man in the Blue Suit: Aauugh! Every time!

Rigby: Watch out, watch out!

(Mordecai steers, but the cars bumped into Mr. Maellard's limousine which 'Mordecai is driving.)

Mordecai and Rigby: Aaaaahhh! (Mordecai and Rigby bump into each other)

Mordecai: Aw, man!

Rigby: Uh, Mordecai, (The man driving the red truck laughs evily and switches to "Death Mode")

Rigby: Dude! (Mordecai tries to pull the gear)

Mordecai: The gear is stuck!

(The red truck hit Mr. Maellard's Limousine into the corner)

Mordecai and Rigby: Aaaahhhh! (The red truck tears Mr. Maellard's limousine. Suddenly the telephone rings. Rigby picks up and answers the phone)

Rigby: Hello?

Roger: Sorry I forgot to tell you, the Stallion's packed with weapons controlled through the glove box. (Rigby opens the glove box full of buttons)

Rigby: And you're just telling us now?

Roger: I said I was sorry.

Rigby: Yeah, yeah.

Roger (Through the phone): Oh, and don't press the red button, it launches the missile. And you only have one, so don't use it until you really need it.

(The tires screech, and the man in the red truck laughs)

Mordecai: Dude, do something!

(Rigby pushes one of the buttons. A machine gun rises through the limousine's roof and lets it rip, popping the truck's tires. The referee flags the red truck)

Mordecai: Rigby, start pressing buttons!

Mordecai and Rigby: Hmph hmph hmph hmph! (Mordecai hits the gas, and the truck explodes)

(Rigby pushes a button, releasing spikes causing another tires to pop. Rigby pushes another button, 

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