This page is the transcript for "Skips' Story".

 Part 1

(Episode opens with Mordecai and Rigby on the house roof with Skips. They are roofing the house together.)

(Song: Roofing by Mordecai and Rigby)

♪Roofing, roofing

Protect from the elements, rain, snow and hail

Got an armful of tiles, and a nailgun that nails

No time to mingle when we're putting down shingles!


(Skips checks his watch)

Skips: Alright, fellas. Time for lunch.

(Digs into his cooler)

Skips (continued): Ok, got one for Mordo.

(He tosses a sandwich to him)

Skips (continued): Rigby, think fast!

(He tosses a burrito at Rigby, but instead of catching it, it only hits Rigby in the face)

Rigby: No!

(The burrito plummets to the ground, its contents splattering all over the place)

Mordecai: (Laughs) Should've gone for it, dude.

Rigby: Awww! If I was immortal like Skips, I would've gone for it.

Mordecai: Yeah that would be awesome.

(Skips hands over a sandwich to Rigby)

Rigby: Being immortal must rule, right, Skips?

Skips: Nah, not really.

Mordecai: I bet you could survive the vacuum of space though.

Skips: Gotta breathe. Being immortal doesn't change that.

Rigby: Ooh ooh, I got one! Swimming one hour after eating.

Skips: That has never killed me.

Mordecai & Rigby: Wow.

Mordecai: Okay, okay. If somebody cut off you head, put it into a jar...

Skips: Look fellas, you got this immortally thing all wrong.

Rigby: Hey, how did you become immortal anyway?

Skips: Nah, you don't wanna hear that.

(He drinks a soda)

Mordecai & Rigby: Awwwwww!

Mordecai: Come on, please?

Rigby: Yeah, please?

(Mordecai and Rigby begin to badger Skips until he finally gives in)

Skips: Alright. I'll tell you how I got my immortality.

Mordecai & Rigby: (High five each other) Yeah-yuh!

Skips: A long time ago, in a high school far, far away...

(As Skips begins his story, we are introduced to an average looking building. A sign out front labels it as Bennett High School. A few students are seen milling around out front, and a voice is heard addressing someone inside.)

Headmaster Bennett: Mister Walks. 

(A young Skips, named Walks is seen sitting in a chair, looking bored)

Headmaster Bennett (continued): According to your permanent record, you've been expelled from three schools this year alone. And this was due to (lowers the permanent record folder) fighting and pugilistic tendencies?!

(He glares at Walks, who looks down at his nails, disinterested) 

Walks: Yeah, I mighta done some of that.

Headmaster Bennett: Well, one fight at my school, Mister Walks, and that means expulsion.

Walks: (Puts his hands up to his face, pretending to be afraid) Ooooh! School's worthless to an adventurer such as me!

(Bennett pulls himself up out of his seat)

Headmaster Bennett:  This is your last chance to graduate, Walks. Do you wish to remain a scoundrel or better yourself? Gareth!

(A young Gary opens the door, causing Walks to turn his head)

Gareth: Yes, Headmaster Bennett?

Headmaster Bennett: Show Walks to his locker.

(Walks is shown kicking open the door on his way out, which Garreth gently shuts behind him)

Walks: I don't need your help, Gareth. I can find my own way around.

Gareth: (Who runs to catch up with Walks) Wait! Walks, I cast no doubts upon your navigation skills, oh great adventurer! (Walks rolls his eyes) But do you know how to navigate socially? 

(They burst through a set of doors, Walks exclaiming a loud 'Woah!' at what he sees before him) 

Gareth (continued): Walks, follow me. (They begin to walk around as Garreth points out everything) Over here we have the athletes and cheer directors. 

(A group of people are seen standing around with props. There is even a guy dressed up as a dodo bird.) 

Gareth (continued): And over yonder, bookish types. 

(A group of boys are seen standing around, looking at books and observing different things) 

Gareth (continued): Hark! I hear some dramatics.

Dramatic Student: Alas, poor yorick.

Gareth: And there's the goths, mobs and settlers.

(We are shown the respective cliques)

Gareth (continued): Here's my clique.

(We see five floating men.)

Immortal Student Council: (All singing) We welcome you, we welcome you!

Reginald: On behalf of the Immortal Student Council - and Glee Club - welcome to your locker, Walks!

(Walks goes to his locker.)

Reginald (continued): You should join us.

Walks: Why?

Reginald: Nothing wins you more respect in school than student government.

(Suddenly Klorgbane The Destroyer tackles Reginald hitting him on the locker)

Klorgbane The Destroyer: Reginald, Reginald heads as big as a shed-ginald. (Turns his head around at The Guardians of Eternal Youth) Hello immortal student council, how are we today.

Boswald: Oh... I need a new diaper.

Reginald: Uh, please brother Klorgbane no wet willies or wedged underclothes today.

Walks: Yeah, leave them alone.

Klorgbane The Destroyer: Eh, who's this, who dares interrupt Klorgbane?

(People become shocked as they gather around to see Walks and Klorgbane face to face)

Walks: I'm Walks. You don't scare me.

Klorgbane The Destroyer: Leave them alone or what, Walks? Huh?

(Pushes Walks) or what, (He pushes him again) huh?

(Walks pulls his hair up and pushes Klorgbane, and as they lock each other and ready to fight)

Klorgbane The Destroyer: Nobody touches me!

(Headmaster Bennett walks in)

Headmaster Bennett: What's going on here?

(Walks and Klorgbane sweep away the dust on their clothes and turn around on Headmaster Bennett)

Walks: Oh nothing, we're just getting to know each other.

Klorgbane The Destroyer: Yes, looks like we're really going to hit it off. (Giggles)

(As Headmaster Bennett looks at them he walks away to the hallway as Klorgbane turns around at Walks)

Klorgbane The Destroyer: This isn't over.

(The crowd along with Klorgbane walks away.)

Reginald: Nobody's ever stood up to Klorgbane before.

Walks: Walks never walks away from a jerk.

(The Guardians of Eternal Youth look at each other having an idea. We cut back to Mordecai, Rigby and Skips)

Rigby: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa You went to high school with all those guys.

Skips: Yeah we have a long history together. What'd you expect from a bunch of immortals.

Rigby: Wait how did you get your immortally.

Skips: I'm getting to that, so lunch time rolled around, and it seemed like everybody already have their tables all figured out.

(The story continues with Walks entering the cafeteria with his food and trying to find a table until see meet a girl holding an apple)

Mona: There's a spot right here, you're welcome to dine with me if you wish.

Walks: I eh.. eh.

(A young girl eats an apple as Walks looks at her a little paranoid)

Mona: Do you wish to dine with me.

Walks: Oh.. Uh eh eh, beg pardon uh yes thank you I...I was just.

Mona: Starring baconlie in my direction.

Skips: Ho, ho, ho you caught me eh, eh beg pardon again.

Mona: My given name is Desdemona, but you can call me Mona.

Walks: I'm Walks, as in..... well Walks it is far as my name was shorted.

Mona: Oh... you mean to say that no one calls you Iks?

Walks: Hard to believe that big name never took room.

(He drinks the soup and suddenly spits it out)

Walks (continued): Ugh, 'tis terrible!

(Mona laughs and wipes the soup on her shirt with her napkin)

Mona: You must new here, no on eats the school lunch that can be avoided. Somehow the kitchen even ruins Apple Brown Bette.

Walks: Really? How does one even do that?

(He laughs)

Walks (continued): There are only four ingredients.

(Gareth and the council go up to him. The council is holding portraits in hand.)

Gareth: Walks!

Walks: Huh?

Gareth: My baby friends and I have a proposition for you.

Walks: What sort?

Gareth: We'd like to formerly request that you fight Klorgbane.

(He unfolds a chart.)

Gareth (continued): We believe it upon examination of this chart.

Walks: No need, I was going to fight him anyway.

Reginald: Oh, splendid.

Archibald: To assure Klorgbane's defeat we've begun design of a device called (reveals design) The Fists of Justice, which will-

Walks: Call off your design. All the fists I need reside in my pockets.

Gareth: Hear them out, Walks. Archibald holds a very convincing illustration.

Griswald: Like us, Klorgbane the Destroyer was created immortal.

(He unfolds a picture of Klorgbane's creation and immortality.)

Griswald (continued): He therefore cannot be defeated by a mere mortal.

(Reginald unveils a picture of how Walks' mortal battle would play out. Walks whistles in amazement. Another guardian appears with a picture.)

Oswald: However, with the proper weapon, a mortal of your strength and skill may prevail.

(He has a picture of Walks besting Klorgbane with The Fists of Justice.)

Walks: Let me see that.

(Oswald gives him the picture.)