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Stick Hockey/Transcript

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[Episode begins with Benson walking and stepping on a piece of gum. Scene cuts to a stick hockey table in action]

Rigby: Rufus passes to Blue, Bluey to Old Man Samson, Samson with a twirl and OHHHHHHHH!

[Horn sounds, scoreboard is shown with Home: 3, Away: 3, Period: 3 and Time Remaining: 3:40]

Mordecai: Whoa, sweet shot! [laughs and presses start to release another puck]

[Mordecai and Rigby laugh brainlessly with engrossed looks on their faces until Mordecai scores]

Mordecai: OHHHHHHHH!

Rigby: Aww man! Alright, you're going down. C'mon fellas, let's pick it up!

[Mordecai and Rigby continue playing. Benson opens the garage door]

Benson: Hey! What the heck are you doing?

Rigby: Huh? [looks away from table]

Mordecai: [shoots a goal] WHHHHHOOOOAAAA!

[Horn sounds, scoreboard shows Home: 3, Away: 4, Period: 3, Time Remaining: 0:00]

Rigby: Aww, what? Benson distracted me, no fair!

Mordecai: (excitedly) Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Rigby: Alright, best out of fifteen.

Benson: Whoa, whoa, hold on a second. You guys are supposed to be working.

Mordecai: Yeah, I know but, c'mon check this out! We found crammed in the back behind all this junk.

Rigby: [rubbing against the table] Miniature man hockey dome.

Benson: It's called Stick Hockey. And it's mine.

Rigby: It's so much fun.

Mordecai: So much fun.

Rigby: So much fun.

Mordecai: So much fun.

Benson: Look I don't care how much fun you think you're having, you're supposed to de-gum the park today and now I find you holed up in here twiddling some sticks?

Mordecai: Ugh, don't say it like that.

Benson: I knew I should've gotten rid of that game. It's a waste of time.

Mordecai and Rigby: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Mordecai: Okay, okay, we'll go out right now and finish de-gumming. Please just don't get rid of the game!

Rigby: It's so much fun.

Mordecai: So much fun.

Benson: (defeatedly) Fine. [sighs] If you finish all your work on time you can keep the game.

Rigby: Yes!

Mordecai: All right!

Mordecai and Rigby: [run out of the garage] Thank you thank you thank you thank you.

[Cut to montage of Mordecai and Rigby de-gumming the park. They back to the garage exhausted]

Rigby: We did it! [raises arm]

Mordecai: See? Having a goal totally focused us!

Rigby: I get it now, work hard and then play hard!

Mordecai: And we're gonna be playing hard all night!

Rigby: (disgusted) Ugh, don't say it like that!

[Mordecai opens the garage door]

Mordecai and Rigby: What!?

[Pan to inside of garage - it's empty. Cut to Mordecai and Rigby walking up to Benson, Pops and Skips]

Mordecai: Okay, Benson, where is it?

Benson: Where's what?

Mordecai: Our stick hockey table!

Benson: I got rid of it.

Mordecai and Rigby: Aw, what!?

Rigby: But you said we could have it!

Benson: Nice try, there's no way you two de-gummed the entire park.

[bucket full of gum hits Benson]

Benson: Oof!

Mordecai: We kept our end of the deal so give it back.

Benson: Sorry, I already took it to the thrift store.

Mordecai and Rigby: What!?

Rigby: [raises both arms in disbelief] Who does that?!

Benson: How was I supposed to know you'd actually finish your work for once?

Mordecai: You can't just say one thing and turn around and do another!

Benson: What are you talking about? You guys do that all the time!

Rigby: That's different, you're the boss!

Mordecai: How are we supposed to work for someone we can't trust?

Benson: Hey! Trust me, I did you guys a favor. That thing is a waste of time. Skips, back me up. [looks to Skips]

Skips: You shouldn't have thrown away the game, Benson.

Pops: I concurr, one must be a man of his word.

Benson: [laughs disbelievingly] I can't believe this!

Mordecai: We want our game back.

Rigby: Yeah, man. You owe us!

Skips: You do owe 'em.

Benson: [sighs] Alright, let's go get it.

[Cut to 'King Thrift']

Employee: Yeah, yeah, the game with the sticks. Nah, it's gone. I sold it to Jeffy over at Thift World.

Mordecai and Rigby: What!?

Employee: Yeah, it was in great condition. I don't know what someone would just donate it like that.

Mordecai: Yeah, they probably weren't thinking straight.

Employee: Wait, where's my head? I got another stick game in the back!

Mordecai and Rigby: Really!?

Employee: Yeah, right over there! [points left]

[Mordecai and Rigby run in the direction the employee is pointing. They uncover the table to see that it's a foosball table]

Rigby: Aww what?

Mordecai: No!

Benson: (with mock enthusiasm) Hey, great find, guys! This is great!

Rigby: It's not the same.

Benson: No, but some would say foosball's better. It's got the same wrist action, plus mass appeal. Way more people play soccer than hockey. C'mon, give it a shot!

[Mordecai and Rigby play dejectedly]

Rigby: So what's this called again? Foolsball? Hm! [flicks a stick aggressively]

[Ball hits Mordecai in the eye]

Mordecai: Aw!

Rigby: See!

Mordecai: Argh!

Benson: So we gettin' it?

[Cut to Benson, Mordecai and Rigby driving home]

Mordecai: I can't believe you tried to pawn off that junky foosball table on us.

Benson: Sorry, jeez! At least, it was pretty much brand new! That old stick hockey game was a piece of junk.

Mordecai: Oh, of course you'd think that.

Rigby: That piece of junk was the coolest thing in the whole park!

Benson: Sure, it's cool now, but keep playing it and one day, bam! Your lives are ruined.

Rigby: What are you talking about? It's just stick hockey. [raises arms in exasperation]

Benson: Could you just trust me on this one?

Mordecai: Alright, Benson, we trust you. Oh wait, now I'm taking the trust I said you could have and I'm throwin' it away instead.

Mordecai and Rigby: OHHHHHHHHH!

Benson: [stops the golf cart in a fury] This wouldn't have happened if you guys had done your job!

Rigby: No, no, no. You can't get mad this time. You messed up, not us!

Benson: Argh! Just listen to me!

Mordecai: You know what, Benson? Forget it. [shoves Benson off the cart] Thanks for all your help, but we can get the stick hockey table without you. [drives golf cart away]

Benson: What the heck!? How am I supposed to get back to the park?!

[Montage of Mordecai and Rigby narrowly missing the stick hockey table plays until they come to a steel door. The door opens and an arm gripping a stick flies out]

Mordecai: Uh, we're heard there was a stick hockey table here?

[Cut to Benson walking into the house. Pops and Skips are playing cards]

Pops: Benson! Care to join our game of cards?

Benson: Not now, Pops.

Pops: Suit yourself!

Skips: Where are Mordecai and Rigby?

Benson: How should I know!? They stole the cart and took off without me! Can you believe it?

Skips: After what you pulled? I believe it.

Benson: What!? You're still on their side!?

Skips: You should've at least given them a chance.

Pops: It seems the honourable thing to do is apologise. Oh look! [holds up a joker card with Benson on it] This one is you! [giggles]

Benson: [sighs] Alright.

Skips: Hmph. [tosses a walkie talkie to Benson]

Benson: Mordecai, Rigby, are you there? Pick up!

Skips: [reaches for walkie talkie] Let me try. Mordecai, Rigby. Are you there?

Rigby: (over walkie talkie) Hey Skips.

Benson: Tell them I want to talk to them! Tell them!

Skips: Where are you? [skips away] Where are you guys?

[Static]

Skips: Uh huh. Mmhm. Okay.

[Static]

Benson: So what are they still mad at me? Where are they?

Skips: You're not gonna like it.

[Cut to Mordecai and Rigby versing Chong at stick hockey in an arena. The crowd is yelling. Chong hits with the visibly battered Mordecai and Rigby with a stick. Chong scores, the scoreboard showing Home: 7, Away: 32, Period: 3, Time Remaining: 2:58. The crowd cheer with Chong. They continue playing when Chong pushes Mordecai and Rigby to the ground with sticks]

Rigby: This is so not fun.

Mordecai: So not fun.

[Chong grabs holds Mordecai and Rigby up by their necks]

Rigby: I don't want him to chop off our heads!

Chong: [laughs] Who's going to finish your game now? [laughs]

Benson: I'll finish it! [walks onto arena]

Chong: [gasps] Death Dragon!

[Flashback at the same arena. Benson and his pupil Dave are sitting on a bench]

Benson: Well, looks like we're up. Just remember what I taught you.

Dave: Thank you master!

Benson: I'll see you in the finals! [fist bumps with Dave]

[Benson and Dave play their stick hockey matches. Benson wins quickly. Dave's opponent is Chong, who cuts off his head with sticks]

Dave: Oh, my neck!

[Benson picks up Dave's head]

Benson: Dave!

Dave: Master I thought you said this was gonna be so much fun! Guh! [dies]

Benson: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[End of flashback. Benson sheds a tear]

Chong: I always knew the dragon would return to his lair. [throws Mordecai and Rigby]

Benson: I go by Benson now.

Chong: Oooh, Benson.

Benson: I'm here to get my friends and go.

Chong: Who, these pathetic stick twidlers?

Benson: Don't say it like that.

Chong: Get rid of them.

[men take Mordecai and Rigby away]

Benson: No!

Chong: What are you going to do about it?

Benson: I'm going to finish the game and beat you like I should have ten years ago.

Mordecai: No! Benson! Don't!

Rigby: Don't do it! This game is to the death!

Benson: Trust me.

[Chong walks up to the table and undoes his hair. He laughs and presses start to release a puck. Benson scores twice. Mordecai and Rigby gasp. Chong can't get the puck past Benson's goalie]

Chong: I see you've retained some of your skills. Too bad the game has changed.

[Ground around the table sections off and elevates. Pit of fire starts. The section tilts towards Chong. Chong laughs. The section tilts towards Benson. Benson slips and hangs off the edge, then pulls himself up. Benson quickly scores. Chong gasps and surrounds Benson with copies of himself and the table. His score increases. Benson disillusions the copies and goes into overdrive, scoring rapidly. He breaks the table both of them fly onto the ground. The scoreboard shows Home: 48, Away: 47, Period: 7, Time Remaining: 0:00. Cut to the garage with Mordecai, Rigby, Benson and the stick hockey table]

Benson: There you go, good as new.

Mordecai: Thanks Benson, we-

Benson: Ah ah, before you say anything else, I want to apologize for getting rid of your game. I shouldn't have gone back on my word.

Mordecai: That's cool.

Benson: I guess I just didn't want to see you end up like me. Some dried-up loser stuck working at a park because he wasted his life playing stick hockey.

Rigby: Yeah, totally.

Benson: So what do you say, wanna play a round?

Mordecai: Ah no, I think we're good. We should've trusted you, Benson.

Rigby: We're going back to video games.

Mordecai: Later!

[Mordecai and Rigby exit]

Benson: [sighs] Why do I even bother?

[End of 'Stick Hockey']

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