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OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!
This page is the transcript for "That's My Television".

(The episode starts at the Convention Center. A lot of people are gathered around inside)

Television CEO: Alright, That's My Television fans, are you excited to be here?

(Everyone cheers)

Television CEO (continued): Well you should be, because in a moment, your favorite 80's television star RGB2 will be raffling off the first, and only autograph of his long and illustrious career.

(Everyone cheers again)

Television CEO (continued): But first, some of your favorite RGB2 moments!

(A big screen shows some scenes from That's My Television)

RGB2: I hope you saved room for dessert!

Dad: RGB2, "room for dessert" doesn't actually mean a whole room full of dessert!

(RGB2 makes a dumbfounded face expression. The people laugh in the background

Boy: I wanna watch football!

Girl: I wanna watch dancing!

RGB2: Hey, come on, it's my turn to drive.

Fans: (Laughs).

Girl: (cries) My parents never let me do anything!

RGB2: Well, I hope you saved room for dessert.

(Gives cake to the girl, then she hugs RGB2).

TV: Awww.

Fans: (laughs).

Television CEO: And the man of the hour - RGB2!

(RGB2 enters the room, and fans cheer).

RGB2: Hey everyone I hope you saved room for dessert!

(Fans cheers again).

Television CEO: And now what you all been waiting for.

(lady turns handle and gets a ticket). And the winning number is 2-7-5-1.

Mordecai and Rigby: Whooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaa--!

(They run up a lady breaks her green item in anger).

Male RGB2 fan: I'll kill them!

Mordecai and Rigby: -ooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Hi Mr. RGB2.

RGB2: Hey guys! thanks for watching the show. (He sign's box set) Here you go.

Mordecai and Rigby: Thanks! (They read the box set).

RGB2: (whispers) Meet me in the bathroom.

(Fans start applauding in the background while RGB2 leaves)

RGB2: Alright thanks for coming out everyone. Thanks for being fans I love you all.

(Scene cuts to the bathroom. Mordecai and Rigby enter.)

Rigby: Mr. RGB2, are you in here?

RGB2: Get in here, quick.

(They see RGB2 in one of the stalls.)

Rigby: What's going on? How come you didn't sign the box set?

RGB2: Look, I'm sorry about that, but I really need your help right now.

Mordecai: Why? What's the matter?

RGB2: I'm being held prisoner.

Rigby: By who?

RGB2: The studio executives.

(A short montage shows RGB2 starring in a show, rolling on the red carpet while fans took pictures of him, the CEO announcing the series revival, and RGB2 being "locked up" by his contracts.)

RGB2 (continued): It all started when the show became a hit. The studio kept me around for personal appearances, studio tour sightings, guest box, the works. When the series revival was announced, I had enough and turned it down. But the execs refused to let me out of my contract. I'm forced to be a prisoner of the studio for the rest of my days.

Mordecai: That's so messed up! You don't have any idea how many times I've had a bad day and the only thing that would make me feel better was watching your show.

Rigby: Yeah! Or how many times your show was a perfect excuse not to do my homework.

Mordecai: Mr. RGB2, is there anything we can do to help?

RGB2: Thanks, guys. You know I always told myself that if I ever got out of here, there's one place I'd like to go.

Rigby: Where's that?

RGB2: To see the Pine Mountains.

(Mordecai and Rigby look at each other and go, 'Hmm! Hmm!' )

Mordecai: Dude, we're gonna bust you out of here.

Rigby: Yeah! And you're gonna see those mountains!

(RGB2 smiles. We see the CEO with the other officers.)

Television CEO: Where's RGB2?

Executive #1: He's still in the bathroom, sir.

Television CEO: (heads to the bathroom door) Out of my way! (goes into the bathroom and opens a stall, only to find it empty) He's gone!

(Cut to the outside of YZB Studios. Mordecai, Rigby and RBG2 go into a trailer.)

RGB2: We don't have much time. They never leave me in here for more than two minutes. (opens a mini fridge of 80's Air cans and pulls one out)

Mordecai: What are those?

RGB2: It's air from the 80s. If I don't breathe it, I'll die.

(RGB2 replaces his 80s air can)

RGB2: Ah, much better!

Mordecai: Okay, now all we got to do is find the Pine Mountains.

RGB2: The address should be right here on this postcard!

(RGB2 pulls out a Pine Mountains postcard)

Mordecai: 312 Country Road. Alright, let's get out of here.

(They hear the executives shouting)

CEO: I can't believe you let him get away!

Security Guard: Sorry sir, but he couldn't have gone far!

(Mordecai quickly locks the trailer as the guard starts banging on the door)

CEO: RGB2! Unlock the door! I know you're in there!

(Mordecai, Rigby and RGB2 climb out of the window)

CEO: RGB2!

(The CEO and security guards hear a van's engine starting, and notice it speeding away. They chase after it. The CEO pulls out a walkie talkie)

CEO: Security! Don't let that van out of the lot!

(Security starts chasing the van in their armored vehicles. The trio near the exit)

RGB2: There's the exit!

(Security blocks the exit)

Mordecai: Was the exit!

(Mordecai quickly turns to the right going through a studio, through a cutout of the Eiffel Tower in Paris, and a magician who quickly vanishes, but returns just to get hit by the security vehicles)

Magician: I'm okay!

(A bunch of balls, rabbits and seagulls fly out of his hat. Mordecai starts heading for a truck with a ramp)

Rigby: Dude! You're gonna hit that truck!

Mordecai: I'm planning on it.

(The van flies off the ramp into the air, and the three scream. The van lands outside of the studio, and one of the wheels loses its rim. The two security vans crash into each other)

RGB2: Looks like we lost them!

(A chopper is seen flying behind the van)

Pilot: Pull your vehicle over to the side of the road and turn off your engine! That is a direct order!

RGB2: Looks like I spoke too soon, guys.

Mordecai: Hang on.

(Mordecai overtakes a truck, but then notices another security van to his right)

Rigby: Watch out! Watch out!

(The van crashes into Mordecai's van, causing him to skid across the side of a small hill. Mordecai manages to escape, but is then met by a guard jumping from the top of a security van with a machine gun. He starts firing at Mordecai, Rigby and RGB2, who quickly step on the breaks, causing him to shoot his own allies. The security van flips over Mordecai's van and gets crashed into by the truck from earlier. The CEO is seen in a black car following, and nearly crashes into the carnage)

CEO: Look out!

(He goes onto his walkie talkie)

CEO: Alright, listen up everyone. I want RGB2 taken alive.

Security Guard: Take him alive, sir - but why?

CEO: Because he's a television icon! He doesn't deserve freedom, he deserves to make me money!

(Three armored guards jump out of the chopper with ropes, and land on the van, which they pull the roof open with a crowbar)

RGB2: Rigby! Use these!

(He passes Rigby his 80s air cans)

Rigby: Don't you need these to breathe?

RGB2: It's fine, I have more!

(Rigby taps the cans together and they blast into the guard's faces, knocking them off the van, one smashes through a security van window, suffocating two more guards)

Driver: Aw sick, it smells like the 80s!

(The security van crashes, and the last remaining guard on top of the protagonists' van jumps into it. He kicks Mordecai and Rigby off the chairs, and takes control)

Guard: Vehicle is secure! Over.

RGB2: Come on! It's my turn to drive!

(The guard laughs, then gets punched by Mordecai and thrown out the van, into the CEO's car's window. His chauffer screams. The chopper pilot locks onto the van, and starts shooting it)

Rigby: How are we gonna shake that chopper!

RGB2: Just keep it steady!

(RGB2 pulls open one of the chairs, where he reveals an RPG)

Rigby: Whoa! Where'd you get that?

RGB2: It was a gift from the Russian prime minister! He loves the show!

(RGB2 locks onto the chopper)

RGB2: I hope you saved room for dessert...

(He blows up the chopper)

Mordecai, Rigby, RGB2: OHHH!!!!!

RGB2: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Look out!

(Mordecai steps on the break as he notices a bunch of cars piled together on fire. In front stands RGB2's angry fans)

Lady Fan: Get them!

(The fans start running towards the trio)

Rigby: Turn around! Turn around!

(Mordecai turns around, the lady runs up to the window)

Mordecai: What are you doing? We're trying to help him!

Lady Fan: We don't care what you're trying to do! We just want the autographed boxset!

(Mordecai punches her and throws a can of 80s air into her face, she gets boosted across the street. He spits the can out)

Lady Fan: You're gonna pay for this!

(Mordecai notices a group of security vans ahead)

Mordecai: Agh!

(He steps on the break. They are surrounded)

Rigby: We're trapped!

(The CEO walks out of his car, slow-clapping)

CEO: Bravo, gentleman, bravo! Overall, that was a pretty nice PG getaway! Way to reach out to the 18-35 demographic. Oh, and uh - nice third-act climax by the way. Helicopter explosion really tied it all in with a cherry on top.

Rigby: Why's he talking like that?

RGB2: That's what they say before they deliver the death-blow!

CEO: We just have a couple of notes for you. Our research groups have shown that nobody wants to see the good guys win anymore. And unfortunately for you, we spent millions trying to find out how to prevent this type of situation. Let's just say we found an effective solution. Our focus groups studied everything boys ages 9-14 find the most brutal and destructive.

(A muscular man with samurai-sword guns steps out of the car, swinging his swords)

CEO: I suggest you turn your engine off and step out of your vehicle. Unless of course, you'd rather be annihilated.

(Mordecai turns his engine off. The guards start running towards the van)

Guard: Go! Go!

(The trio get pulled out of the van and taken towards the CEO and the muscular man)

Lady Fan: Get the boxset!

(The fans run towards the van, tearing it apart to find the boxset)

Lady Fan: Agh! Where is it!?

CEO: I want you to cancel these two.

(Mordecai and Rigby looked at each other worryingly)

RGB2: I'm sorry, Mordecai and Rigby!

Guard: Keep it moving!

(Mordecai and Rigby struggle fighting off the guards)

Mordecai: Hey! Agh!

(A boat is seen passing under the bridge that they are on. Rigby notices it)

Rigby: When I say "now", get ready to drive!

(Mordecai nods, as Rigby turns to the fans and pulls out the boxset)

Rigby: Hey! Is this what you're looking for!

Lady Fan: *gasps* The boxset!

Rigby: Well come and get it!

(Rigby chucks the boxset towards the muscular man, who is then tackled by the angry fans)

Rigby: Now!

(Mordecai and Rigby attack the guards holding them, as Mordecai runs to the van and Rigby runs to RGB2)

Rigby: Come on!

(Rigby and RGB2 get in the van)

Rigby: Let's go!

(Mordecai starts the engine)

CEO: Stop them!

(The CEO and his bodyguards chase after the van)

CEO: Stop! You'll never get away from me, RGB2! I own you.

RGB2: Own this!

(RGB2 throws the remain of his 80s air cans in a bag towards the CEO, who explodes, as the van drives off the bridge, onto a boat, and onto land again. Later, the trio arrive at the address of Pine Mountains, which seems to be a deserted area)

Rigby: Well, this is it.

(The Pine Mountains is revealed to just be an image on a billboard for a gas station)

Mordecai: Hmph, it says it's the right address.

(Mordecai scratches some gum off the card to reveal "Pine Mountains Gas")

Mordecai: Oh. It looks like Pine Mountains is just a billboard for a gas station.

Rigby: We're really sorry, man!

RGB2: This is great! It's so much bigger than the postcard!

Rigby: Really?

RGB2: Yeah! I don't care if the mountains are real or not, what's important is I'm here! That's my dream! I'm glad I had you two there to keep me going! Thank you.

(The trio climb a ladder up to the billboard, and look towards a sunset)

RGB2: This is something I wanna see with my own eyes!

(Mordecai and Rigby pull the front of RGB2's case off, to reveal a naked man curled up inside)

Mordecai & Rigby: Whoa!

RGB2: Hehe-*coughs*-What? Did you actually think I was a TV?

Rigby: Yeah, I guess.

RGB2: Hey, you got that postcard?

Mordecai: Yeah, right here.

(Mordecai passes the postcard to RGB2, who signs it)

RGB2: Here. Take it.

(Mordecai reads the postcard)

Mordecai: To Mordecai & Rigby, my true pals. Always save room for dessert - RGB2

Mordecai & Rigby: Wow!

Mordecai: Thanks RGB2. This means a lot to us.

RGB2: Aw, it's - nothing. (RGB2 takes a deep breathing and stops breathing with his eyes open. Mordecai closes his eyes, but RGB2 opens them again) I'm not dead. I was just resting.

Mordecai: Oh, sorry. (Mordecai looks down at his postcard) We've gotta frame this.

(End of That's My Television)

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