This page is the transcript for "The Best VHS in the World".

Movie Shack Hut Employee: Huh, well if it ain't Mordo and Rigs. Hey, is it V-H-fest time again already?

Mordecai: Yeah, dude.

Rigby: Check out our picks.

Movie Shack Hut Employee: Hmm, let's see what we've got here! (looks at tapes) Ooh, great director. Ah, that's a good one. Pre-exploder was better. Huh? What the heck, man? Pan-in-scan? Dude, letterbox! Always! Membership card, por favor. (scans card, error occurs)

Mordecai and Rigby: Beep, beep?

Movie Shack Hut Emplyee: Looks like you dudes have an overdue video. (He types in their card number for results) The Best VHS in the World. Out for 2 months?

Mordecai: What?

Mordecai and Rigby: The Best VHS in the World?

(Cuts to flashback of clip from the tape of a grey pug driving in a car being chased by the police. He drives off a dock and getting zapped into a spaceship. The pug barks and spaceship explodes. Cuts to title card with voiceover saying "The Best VHS in the...WOOORLD!")

Mordecai: Dude, this blows, take it out! Why'd you pick this one anyways?

Rigby: Dude, because it's called "The Best VHS in the World", plus it's made of gold plastic.

Mordecai: Next.

(Rigby throws tape at the wall and flashback ends.)

Movie Shack Hut Employee: Look, you guys need to return the tape and pay the late fee.

Rigby: But we can't afford a late fee!

Mordecai: Yeah, and what it we can't find it?

Movie Shack Hut Emplyee: Then you leave me no choice. (He pulls out a pair of scissors and threatens to cut their membership card in half.)

Mordecai and Rigby: STOP!

Movie Shack Hut Employee: Why should I?

Rigby: All we have is a VCR and you're the only place in town that still rents tapes.

Movie Shack Hut Employee: Oh, yeah. All those other places upgraded to "dee vee dee".

Mordecai: Dude, we'll find it! I think I remember where it is suddenly.

Movie Shack Hut Employee: Hmmm.

Rigby: Pleeeeease!

Movie Shack Hut Employee: (sigh) Fine, but it's only because you dudes appreciate superior video formats. Get it back here ASAP and I won't cancel your membership. I'll even waver the fee.

Rigby: You won't regret this.

(He and Mordecai run off.)

Movie Shack Hut Employee: I'd better not, OR YOU'LL NEVER RENT ANOTHER TAPE HERE EVER AGAIN!

Mordecai: (pointing at the wall) Didn't you throw it over there?

Rigby: (groans) I don't see it.

Mordecai: It's gotta be around here somewhere. Check the VCR.

Rigby: Nothin'

Mordecai: (groans) Benson probably put it in our room. (they walk upstairs to their beyong cluttered room) Aw, man. Do you have any idea where it could be?

Rigby: No, I can't even find my bed.

Mordecai: There's just too much junk everywhere.

Rigby: Maybe it's in this empty pizza box. Aw, there's my buttcheek pants, but no VHS.

Mordecai: I know what we have to do.

Rigby: Skip town?

Mordecai Clean the room.

Rigby': (groans while rolling around on the floor) That's the worst, you're the worst. (groans) Why don't we just pay for the stupid tape?

Mordecai: That's not a bad idea.

(phone rings back at the Movie Shack Hut and the employee answers it)

Movie Shack Hut Employee: Movie Shack Hut.

Mordecai: It's Mordecai.

Movie Shack Hut Employee: Dude, the game is changed, I need that tape back by 9:00. My manager's doing inventory after we close and he'll call collections agency if he finds out it's missing.

Mordecai: What would it cost to just replace the tape?

Movie Shack Hut Employee: (sigh) You're not gonna like it.

Mordecai: Dude, just tell me.

Movie Shack Hut Employee: One...thousand...dollars.

Mordecai: A thousand dollars!?

Movie SHack Hut Employee: It's a rare and out-of-print VHS; a piece of film history!

Mordecai: It's a piece alright.

Movie Shack Hut Employee: Just find it by tonight. I hear those guys break thumbs.

(Mordecai groans)

Rigby: What'd he say?

Mordecai: We either return the video, pay a thousand dollars, or have our thumbs broken.

Rigby: (starts hyperventilating and rummaging through junk) We don't have that kind of money, and I really enjoy my thumbs.

Mordecai: Dude, dude, chill. How are we gonna find the tape in here if you're just gonna panic and make a bigger mess?

Rigby: Give me one better idea than panicking.

Mordecai: We're gonna buckle down and methodically clean this room until we find that tape.

Rigby: (scoughs) Fine, we'll do this the "right way" or whatever.

(Montage of the two cleaning the room and searching through a drawer, under a pillow and the bed. They stuff all their junk in the closet and find one shirt lying on the floor. They walk over and pick it up, only to find an old peanut butter sandwich.)

Rigby: Woah, I remember this.

Mordecai: I guess that's it. There's no other place it could be. We only have a few hours left. Now what?

Rigby: (gasp) What if somebody in the house borrowed it?

Mordecai: Dude, yeah! Let's split up and ask everybody.


Movie Shack Hut Employee: Thanks for returning the video, hombres. (Hands Mordecai no Rigby their membership card) Here's your card back.

Mordecai and Rigby: Wooooooah!

Movie Shack Hut Employee: (hands Buttonwillow a card with his name on it) And here's one for you, dude.

Buttonwillow McButtonwillow: What is this?

Mordecai: It's a membership card, man. With that, you can rent any video you want.

(Buttonwillow giggles and runs over to shelves of tapes, then runs back to the counter)

Movie Shack Hut Employee: So, what do you wanna rent, little dude?

Buttonwillow McButtonwillow: I would like The Best VHS in the World.

(End of The Best VHS in the World)

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