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The Postcard/Transcript

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This page is the transcript for "The Postcard".


(Episode opens with a flashback to 4 years ago... at the City Cafe. Hi Five Ghost is ordering a coffee.)

Hi Five Ghost: Can I get a half cup Americano please?

Girl: (To Fives) Good choice. I mean, I'm no coffee expert, but I gotta say; I think this place has the best Dark Roast in town.

(Takes a sip of coffee)

Hi Five Ghost: No arguments here. This is one of my favorite coffee spots.

Girl: Yeah, I love stopping here and then going to the record shop down the street.

Hi Five Ghost: I know the one! The owner's super chill and they have a huge "Down-Tempo Electronica" section.

Girl: Wait, you like "Down-Tempo Electronica"? Me too!

Hi Five Ghost: Wow! Cool!

Girl: (Offering to shake hands) I'm Celia, by the way.

Hi Five Ghost: (Shakes hands with Celia) Hi Five Ghost.

Celia: Um, do you maybe wanna head over there with me after a coffee?

Hi Five Ghost: Yeah, sure.

(Cut to the City Record Shop)

Celia: Everyone says the Photon's Forming is Stereo Fighters' best album, but Tripdic Lullaby is my favorite.

Hi Five Ghost: Me too!

(Both laugh. Cut to the aquarium.)

Celia: Whoa, this is so cool.

Hi Five Ghost: Yeah, there's something about watching animals that makes me feel really peaceful.

Celia: Yeah... me too.

(Cut to Wing Kingdom)

Celia: Whoa! This is like the worst thing I've ever tasted.

Hi Five Ghost: Yeah! Me too!

(Cut back to the Cafe)

Hi Five Ghost (continued): Today was really fun! I never met anyone I had so much in common with.

Celia: Me too! I mean, me either.

Hi Five Ghost: (Blushing) Umm...do you wanna hang out again sometime?

Celia: Ye-ah! (Realizes something) Oh, well, I'd really like to, but I'm leaving the country tomorrow. I'm going to be studying in Prague. I'd give you my number, but I don't have a cellphone.

Hi Five Ghost: Hey, me too!

(They both sadden)

Celia: (Notices a stack of postcards, picks one up) I have an idea. In four years, when I'm back in the states, I'll send this postcard to you. If we're both single, we'll meet up and pick up where we left off. How's that?

Hi Five Ghost: That seems like the most logical way to stay in touch.

Celia: (Gives the postcard to Fives) Here, write your address.

(He does so)

Hi Five Ghost: I hope I see you in four years.

Celia: Me too.

(they both hold hands. We are then shown the 'present' day. Fives, along with MordecaiRigbyMuscle Man and Thomas are at the Snack Bar. Benson comes over to them)

Benson: Mordecai! Rigby! Another issue of Fart Weekly Magazine came today, which I distinctly remember telling you not to get sent here. They're flooding the mailbox!

Rigby: Relax, man. It's natural.

Mordecai: Rigby's right. It's not healthy to hold it in.

Benson: (sighs) Just cancel it already!

Muscle Man: Yo, is my tax return in there?

Benson: No, but Fives, this came for you. (Fives takes the busted card) Now, all of you, stop eating donuts and get back to work! (walks away)

Hi Five Ghost: (reading the card) "Let's meet..." (suddenly gasps)

Muscle Man: What is it?

Hi Five Ghost: It's the postcard from Celia!

Muscle Man: Whoa!

Mordecai: Who's Celia?

Hi Five Ghost: Only the coolest girl I ever met! Four years ago we made a promise to meet when she was done with school in Prague, and now she's back!

Muscle Man: Nice bro, nice.

Mordecai: Yeah, that's really awesome.

Rigby: So when are you gonna see her?

Hi Five Ghost: Oh, uhh, (takes a look at the postcard) uhh...uhh...wait! I don't know! I can't read anything else on the card! It's too busted up! What am I gonna do?!

Muscle Man: Whoa, bro. Don't worry. We just need to take a better look. Let's take it inside.

Hi Five Ghost: Uhh...uhh...okay, yeah.

(cut to the guys at Pops's House)

Muscle Man: Uhh...okay. So, how about...(tries looking at different angles of the postcard) I got nothing.

Rigby: Dude, what happened to it? It looks like it was in someone's mouth.

Mordecai: (takes the postcard) I don't know. I can't tell with all these change of address stamps.

Hi Five Ghost: Oh, yeah. I moved around a lot. It probably got stuck in the postal system for a while.

(Mordecai gives the postcard to Rigby.)

Rigby: Well, I think the first part is: "Dear...Dear Hi Five Ghost"?

Mordecai: Uh, yeah. I think we got that part.

Rigby: "I'm something something, something somethiiiiing you! Best wishes, Celia."

Muscle Man: Ugh! Thanks for getting us nowhere.

Mordecai: Here. (Rigby gives the postcard back to Mordecai.) Let me try to flatten it out. (flattens the postcard on the table and flips it over.) Hey, there's more writing! (everyone comes over to see) "Let's meet between 6 & 7pm on March 20th."

Hi Five Ghost: March 20?

(He checks his watch. The time is 21 to 4pm, and the day is, of course, March 20. He gasps and look at the calender. The first 19 days of the month have been crossed off, marking today the 20th. )

Man: (on TV) It's gonna be an awesome March 20! This March 20 get double thumbs up all the way baby! Wooo! It's March 20!

Mordecai: Turn off the TV!

Rigby; Oh, sorry. (turns off TV.)

Hi Five Ghost: Today is March 20!

Mordecai: I hate to say it, (holds up postcard) but we might not be able to figure this out.

HI Five Ghost: Then I'll just have to find someone who can.

(Cut to the City police station. Love Five Ghost leads the guys and his brother down the hallways.)

Low Five Ghost: These are some of the best forensic guys I know. If they can't decipher the letter, no one can.

Hi Five Ghost: I really appreciate you help me out.

Low Five Ghost: Don't thank me yet. While they're the best forensic guys I know, they're also the best chop-busting guys I know. If you want their help, you're gonna have to chop-bust 'em right back. (enters a room with two men) Hey, Wes! Westley!

Wes: Hey yo!

Westley: Low Fives! Gimme six! (laughs) Just bustin' your chops!

Low Five Ghost: (nodding) You guys...

Wes: So, Low, what's with all the clowns? (chuckles) Is the circus in town or something?! (he and Westley laugh) Just busting your chops.

Low Five Ghost: Ah, this is my brother Hi Five and his friends. They need your help readiing letters on a postcard.

Westley: Need help reading, huh?

Wes and Westley: You boys try opening your eyes?! Eh! (chuckle) Just busting your chop! Eh! Eh! Eh! (chuckle again)

Mordecai: Well, we can't read it 'cause the card's all busted up.

Wes: Oh, it's the card that's all busted up, huh? Are you sure it's not your face?!

Mordecai: (pointing at Wes) That's pretty big talk coming from someone that looks like you!

Rigby: Yeah! Did your mom dress you this morning?

Westley: Sorry, shortstuff, but you must be at least (puts his hand somewhere shorter than Rigby) this tall to enter the conversation! (he and Wes laugh and give each other multiple hi fives. Rigby snarls.)

Muscle Man: Alright, not bad. Hey Wes, how'd you grow a moustache on your butt? Oh, wait, that's your face! Ehhhh!

Wes: Well, since you're looking out for me, I gotta tell ya, that you should that lawn mower you've been lettin' cut your hair!

(Short silence)

Hi Five Ghost: You two just bust chops on guys who have no power so they're invulnerable to your chop-busting. But really you're just a couple of disc jockeys who haven't seen any real action since you left the academy. (Wes and Westley are shocked.) Hahaha, just bustin' your chops!

Wes: (suddenly stands up) You've gone too far!

Westley: You can't talk to an officer like that!

Hi Five Ghost: I mean...I... I thought...

Westley: Get on the ground, dirt bag!

(Hi Five Ghost lies face down on the floor.)

Hi Five Ghost: Sorry, sorry! (looks up) Uh, is this okay, or-

Wes: Did we say you could move?!

Hi Five Ghost: Oh no, sir! Sorry, sir!

Wes: Put your hands where I can see 'em!

(Hi Five Ghost reveals his arms. Wes and Westley look at each other. They chuckle again.)

Wes and Westley: Just bustin' your chops!

(Hi Five Ghost starts chuckling, followed by Rigby and Muscle Man. He floats back up.)

Hi Five Ghost: Alright, you got me.

Wes: You guys can bust chops with the best of 'em. So, let's see that letter. 

(Wes takes the letter, and he and Westley proceed with the analysation process. They receive a printed piece of paper from the machine.)

Hi Five Ghost: What does it say? Where am I supposed to meet her?

Westley: I hate to tell you kid, but that's the one thing we can't make out. (hands the paper to Hi Five Ghost, who starts reading it.)

HI Five Ghost: "Dear Hi Five Ghost, I hope you remember our promise we made four years ago. I back in the states and would love to see you. If you're still single, let meet at  <blank> Brick Oven Pizza <blank> on <blank>. If you don't show, I'l assume you've found someone else"? "Best wishes, Celia". (drops the paper) Oh, no! If I don't show up tonight she'll think I'm not interested! (grabs Muscle Man) I'll never see her again!

Muscle Man: Keep it together, bro! (to Wes and Westley) Come on, man. There's gotta be something else you can do.

Westley: There are a few more tests we could run, but they'll take some time.

Hi Five Ghost: Time? I don't have time! (seeing the clock) It's almost six o' clock!

Low Five Ghost: Cool it, little bro! Look, Brick Oven Pizza's a chain and there are only a few in the area. We'll start checking them while Wes and Westley run the tests. One way or another, we're gonna find her.

Mordecai: You can do it.

Rigby: Yeah, man. We'll help you.

Hi Five Ghost: Thanks, guys.

Low Five Ghost: Alright, let's roll!

(The search starts off with Rigby marking the chain restrarants of Brick Oven Pizza on a map. Low Five Ghost, his brother and the guys drive off in his cop car. Rigby directs Low Fives to the first chain, simply called Brick Oven Pizza. Hi Fives goes to check, but Celia is not there. Disappointed, he goes back to the car. A call call comes through the walkie talkie from Wes, telling them Westley worked through the postcard, and discovered the restuarant is called Brick Oven Pizzanini. At this point, Rigby crosses out the Brick Oven Pizza restaurants and marks the Pizzanini ones. It is now quarter past six, and Low Five Ghost has driven straight to the first Brick Oven Pizzanini. Hi Five Ghost comes out, and with a nod, confirms Celia isn't there either. They head straight to the next chain, and the guys are sad that Celia isn't at this chain. Back at the station, Westley has further analysed and printed out something interesting for Wes to see. It turns out the restaurant is called Mama's Famous Brick Oven Pizzanini. Wesley passes this onto the guys, who take note of it. Hi Five Ghost check the time worriedly, and it is roughly 23 to 7pm. They stop at a few more chains, and Low Fives continues driving. Hi Fives is more worried.)

Rigby: Aaah! Why are they all chain restaurants?

(A call comes in.)

Westley: Hey, I think we got something.

Low Five Ghost: (picks up the walkie-talkie) What's the sitch?

Westley: We got another word: Seven. "Mama's Famous Brick Oven Pizzanini on Seven".

Hi Five Ghost: Seven? You think it's on Seventh Street?

Rigby: There's one on Seventh Street in Magnolia!

Low Five Ghost: On it!

(He starts the accelerator, drives up to that restaurant, and parks. The guys get out and run up to the door. Moredcai pounds on it, but it won't open.)

Hi Five Ghost: It's locked!

Muscle Man: (noticing a sign) Ugh, it says they're fumigating this week.

Rigby: Aw, sick!

Hi Five Ghost: Now what am I gonna do? Guh! (pounds the door) No! (starts repeatedly knocking on the door) Celiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

(The guys are shocked and try to get a hold of Hi Five Ghost.)

Mordecai: Fives, take it easy!

Rigby: She's not in there, man!

Muscle Man: She would've waited outside if this was the place!

(Hi Five Ghost stops knocking and breathes heavily. The guys let go of him.)

Mordecai: Sorry, dude. It's just not the right one.

Low Five Ghost: Guys, come here!

(Cut yo inside the cop car, where everyone listens in on a call.)

Wes: Alright, we finally got the whole line. She's waiting at: Mama Famous Brick Oven Pizzanini on 7- Goh!  Oh man, my chest!

Westley: Oh no, he's having a heart attack! Somebody call a doctor!

(Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man and Fives gasp.)

Hi Five Ghost: No! Not now!

(Everyone suddenly glares as they hear Wes laughing.)

Wes: Eh, just bustin' your chops! (The guys groan) But seriously, it's 'Grain'. "Mama's Famous Brick Pven Pizzanini on Seven Grain".

(They all look at each other.)

Mordecai, Rigby and Muscle Man: Oh yeah!

Muscle Man: That place is in the shopping centre across town.

(We notice the time in the cop car is 10 to 7.)

Mordecai: But there's only 10 minutes left! We won't make it with the traffic!

Low Five Ghost: (with a serious tone) Guess I better start flooring it then.

(He puts his car in acceleration and continues driving though the city, cutting through the traffic.)

Muscle Man: (pointing) There's the exit!

(Low Fives takes the exit and makes a turn, only to find more traffic.)

Rigby: How are we gonna get past this?!

(Low Fives looks round and see the mall.)

Low Five Ghost: Looks like we're gonna have to cut through the mall.

Hi Five Ghost: But isn't that illegal?

Low Five Ghost: (serious tone) Not when you're a cop it isn't. (suddenly makes a break through the mall as Hi Fives screams. The people at the mall clear the way.) Remain calm, citizens! Routine procedure!

(As he reaches the end of the mall, gthe guys scream as he breaks through the door and smashes into a fire hydrant. He groans.)

Muscle Man: There it is! (We are shown the exact restaurant) There's still time, bro!

(Hi Five Ghost comes out of the car, picks up a bouquet of roses, and heads for the restuarant. He opens the door to find a whole bunch of people staring at him. He notices an empty seat with change and a cup on the table, indicaing Celia was there. He heads back to the guys, who are waiting for him.)

Hi Five Ghost: They said she was there, but it's past 7 now. I was too late.

Westley: (via walkie takie) Guys, we found more to the note. It says, "P.S. One of my buttcheeks gained 600 pounds, and now I have to wear special pants." (laughs) Just bustin your-

Low Five Ghost: Dude, not the time.

Westley: Sorry.

Muscle Man: Look, Fives, I'm sorry you-

Hi Five Ghost: Thanks, but, I just wanna be alone right now. (floats off)

Rigby: We're still gonna get Pizzanini's, right? (Mordecai punches him) Oww!

(Cut to Hi Fives going down the street, throwing away his roses along the way. He notices the Cafe, where he and Celia first met. He heads inside.)

Hi Five Ghost: Can I get a half cup Americano?

Celia: (approaching HI Fives) Good choice. That's my favourite.)

Hi Five Ghost: Celia!

(They both start reasoning.)

Hi Five Ghost: I wasn't sure what to do, and I just wound up here.

Celia: Me too.

(The both smile and hold hands. Camera zooms out on the two.)

(End)

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