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Muscle Man: Muscle Dad! Come in, Muscle Dad!
Muscle Man (continued): Muscle Dad, come in! I wanna wish you a happy Father's Day!
(just more static)
Muscle Man (continued): Come on, Muscle Dad! You better not be pranking me!
(through the window, a truck drives up)
Muscle Man (continued): Bro?
(John opens the door, seemingly shaken)
Muscle Man (continued): Geez, bro, who died?
(We pan down to John's waist. From behind his back, he pulls out a trucker's hat that reads "World's Greatest Trucker". In shock, Muscle Man drops the microphone onto the floor in slow-motion. Cut to a chapel, some time later. Muscle Dad's funeral is taking place. Muscle Man opens a soda can to give his speech)
Muscle Man (continued): We're here today because my dad put a cactus under a cop in a bear costume, who turned out to be an actual bear.
(Tears form in Muscle Man's eyes. He begins to squeal, and turns around to knock everything off of the table behind him. Mordecai and Rigby see the whole thing during his flipout)
Mordecai: Muscle Man!
(M&R go over to Muscle Man as he kicks a water bucket, and hold him locked)
Mordecai (continued): It's okay, it's okay!
Muscle Man: You're right. You're right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm okay. (goes over to Muscle Dad's picture on the table, pointing)
Muscle Man (continued): My dad might not have been the best pranker in the world, but he was the best trucker in the world. (zoom into Muscle Dad's hat) And that hat was his crown.
(Muscle Man is now seen holding an urn)
Muscle Man (continued): That's why this urn is filled with the ashes of his hat. As the ultimate Father's Day tribute, I'm gonna help my dad fulfill his final wish, by spreading the ashes of his hat at the Trucker Hall of Fame.
(Benson walks over to M&R)
Benson: Guys, I'd like you to go with Muscle Man to help him spread those hat ashes.
Mordecai: What? Why can't Hi Five Ghost go with him?
Benson: (looking back) Hi Five Ghost doesn't deal well with this sort of thing. (sure enough, Hi Five Ghost is seen looking through the window, crying)
Mordecai: Okay, we'll go with him.
Benson: Thanks. Just make sure to watch after him. If Muscle Man can't spread those hat ashes and get some closure, he may never be the same again.
Muscle Man: (on couch, twirling his suit in the air, guzzling a soda) WOO-HOO! WHOOO! (jumps off couch) WHOOOOO!
(clock transition to the highway. Mordecai, Rigby and Muscle Man are driving on the road)
Muscle Man: Thanks for coming along to help me spread my dad's trucker hat ashes. It really means a lot to me. I know that sometimes, I act all crazy when I'm bummed out, so just let me know if I'm freaking out too hard, and I'll stop.
Mordecai: No problem.
Rigby: Yeah, it's cool.
Muscle Man: You dudes wanna listen to some tunes?
Mordecai and Rigby: Yeah, we do!
Muscle Man: Haha, yeah! And I know my dad wants to listen to some tunes, all right! (goes over to turn on the radio. However, the knob goes loose and crumbles away) Uh?
Mordecai: Oh no.
(just as expected, Muscle Man starts squealing and flips out, turning the car violently)
Mordecai: Muscle Man, calm down! Chill! Chill! (Muscle Man calms down)
Muscle Man: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just wanted to listen to some music with my dad.
Mordecai: We don't need to listen to any music. It's cool.
Rigby: Yeah, man.
Muscle Man: Okay. (M&R go back in their seats) Sorry for freaking out, guys.
Mordecai: No. No. It's fine. Do you want to tell some stories about your dad? It might make you feel better.
Muscle Man: Okay. (begins to tell the story) My dad was the best.
(this next part is the flashback montage, narrarated by Muscle Man. We start out with an 8MM-like piece of footage of Muscle Dad shaking a soda can)
Muscle Man: Nobody loved a good prank more than my old man.
Muscle Dad: (handing a young Muscle Man the soda can) Here, Mitch!
Young Muscle Man: Thanks! (grabs the soda. When he opens it, a spout of soda comes out. Muscle Dad laughs)
Muscle Man: We used to play the best pranks on his trucker buddies.
(cut to the kid Muscle Man and his father, in a shed, playing with the radio)
Muscle Dad: What's your twenty, good buddy?
Trucker Buddy: (over microphone) I'll tell ya, sir, my hog got smokey on my tail!
Muscle Dad: You know who else got smokey on her tail? (young Muscle Man chuckles)
Muscle Dad: My wife! / Young Muscle Man: My mom!
(They both laugh as we cut to John's birthday party)
Muscle Man: And one time, at my brother's birthday party... (Muscle Dad pulls up a pinata)
Young Muscle Man: Hit it, Muscle Bro!
Teen John: I will, yo! (to Muscle Dad) Stop moving her to and fro! (He hits it, and, out of the pinata, scorpions fall out, scaring him) AGH! Get them off! AGH! (squirms to the ground as Muscle Man and his father laugh. We know cut to a teenage Muscle Man and [presumably] Starla, ready for prom)
Muscle Man: But he loved pulling pranks on me the most.
Muscle Dad: Look at you! My boy is going to prom! You sure you don't need an umbrella?
Teen Muscle Man: Dad! We don't need an umbrella! We're just going to prom!
(opens the door to the outside. Muscle Man and Starla didn't realize that Muscle Dad was hiding a bucket of water on the roof, and they get soaked. Muscle Dad laughs at himself, then, Muscle Man joins into the laughter as a frustrated Starla looks on. A truck graphic wipes to the next scene, the young Muscle Man reading a book while on his bed)
Muscle Man: My dad was awesome at pranks, but he was an even better trucker. He would always check in from the road.
Muscle Dad: (over radio) Braker, braker! Muscle Daddy here. You copy? (Muscle Man goes over to the radio to answer)
Young Muscle Man: Loud and clear, Muscle Dad! Hey, do the thing! (Muscle Dad blows a horn over the radio as Muscle Man chugs his arm. The young Muscle Man laughs as the montage's ripple tranistions back to present day)
Mordecai: Wow, Muscle Man. Your dad sounded like he was really awesome.
Muscle Man: He was. (driving under bridge) Now let's pull over, I gotta use it!
(clock transition to a rest stop. M&R are standing outside)
Mordecai: Man, I've never seen Muscle Man open up like this!
Rigby: I know! And I gotta say, Muscle Dad sounds like the greatest dad!
(A trio of truckers are heard off-screen)
Bear Dog: Muscle Dad? (the truckers walk over) Boy, I've never heard that name in a long time! Big green guy, loved pranks, trucker of the year hat...
Rigby: Yeah, that's him! Were you guys friends with him? (the truckers laugh)
Bear Dog: No, we were not friends with him! Why, that puke never rode a big rig in his life!
Bear Dog: No, sirree! Why, that ratchet-jaw was nothing but a... (extreme closeup of all his teeth) ...forklift driver. (M&R gasp as Muscle Man comes out of the restroom)
Muscle Man: Take that back! Take back what you said about my dad!
Bear Dog: Sorry there, ankle-biter, he was just a trucker wannabe!
Muscle Man: You shut your mouth-hole!
Trucker 2: Remember how he'd sneak into our rigs and call himself in a fake voice? (the truckers laugh)
Muscle Man: No, bros! (turns around photo he is holding) You can't fake this, bro!
Bear Dog: Uh, actually, you can. (points to two teenages taking a photo near a stand of the Muscle Dad photograph)
Teenager: Dude, check it! My butt's Trucker of the Year! (the other teenager snaps a photo as they both laugh)
(We then fade to white to a second flashback of a young Muscle Man and a radio, laughing)
Young Muscle Man: Nice prank, dad!
Muscle Dad: (over radio) Yeah, I really got the other trucker for that one!
Young Muscle Man: Why are you whispering?
(We see something that uncovers Muscle Dad's lie: he's sitting behind a bush, hidden away from the young Muscle Man)
Muscle Dad: Oh, there's a hitchiker sleeping in the passenger's seat.
Young Muscle Man: Dad, you're the best trucker ever!
Muscle Dad: I do it all for you, son.
Young Muscle Man: Hey, Dad, do the thing.
Muscle Dad: (laughs) Sure, son. (blows an air horn into the air horn)
(fade back to present. Muscle Man finds out his Dad was pranking him, so drops the picture frame and drops to his knees)
Muscle Man: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
(clock transition to a field. Muscle Man, dumbfounded, stands silently as he holds the picture in his hands. He then angrily punches the face of the Muscle Dad photo, breaking it. He runs around in circles, squealing, as M&R look on from the distance. As he rolls on the ground, the frame still on his arm, Muscle Man finally shatters the frame, and finds a note within the debris)
Muscle Man: (reading the note) Son, if you're reading this, you punched my face out at the rest stop where I faked that picture. I'm sorry for pranking you all these years...
Muscle Dad: (Writing the note and thinking) ...Especially about being a trucker. The world is a harsh place, and I only did it to toughen you up from when I'm gone. Now you know the truth. You aren't a muscle boy anymore.
Trucker 1: Muscle Dad! We need those loads now!
Muscle Dad: Yes, sir! Right away!
Trucker 1: And take off that hat! You ain't worthy of it.
(Truckers walk away)
Muscle Dad :(Writing note and thinking again) So please, drive to the highest point of the Trucker Hall of Fame, and spread my hat ashes over those stuck-up jerks. It's my final prank from beyond the grave. But if you hate me too much to do it, I understand.
(Muscle Man stops reading and walks back to M&R)
Mordecai: So, what happened?
(Muscle Man hands M&R the note, and the two read it)
Mordecai and Rigby: Whoa!!!
Mordecai: What are you gonna do?
Muscle Man: Maybe he wasn't the best trucker in the world... or a trucker in the world. But he was my dad. And I'm gonna carry out his wish if it's the last thing I do.
Mordecai: That's great, dude. We'll be right there with you.
Muscle Man, Mordecai, and Rigby: Whooo!!!
Rigby: Special delivery! (Throws a brick at the guards' vehicle)
(Scene transitions to them driving to the Trucker Hall of Fame, and them at an outlook)
Muscle Man: There it is. The Trucker Hall of Fame.
(Scene expands to the rest of it)
Mordecai and Rigby: Whoa!!!
Muscle Man: Now let's go spread these hat ashes.
(Mordecai, Rigby and Muscle Man walk up to the entrance. Two guards drive up and block them. The guys gasp)
Guard #1: Where do you think you're going with that urn, son?
Muscle Man: (hides urn behind his back) Uh, what urn?
Guard #1: Don't play dumb. We heard about your plan on the horn. You're Muscle Dad's son. And what you got there is his hat's remains.
Muscle Man: Let me in, you tools!
Guard #1: Those ashes are worhless. Hey, you wanna scatter them somewhere? Heh, (points to the dumpster) why don't you scatter them in that dumpster?
(Muscle Man tears up as the two guard laughs. Muscle Man runs back, followed by Mordecai and Rigby.
Mordecai: Dude, Muscle Man!
Rigby: What are you doing?!
Mordecai: You gotta turn back! You can't give up!
Muscle Man: Come on!
(The three go into the car.)
Mordecai: You gonna come all this way just to quit?!
Rigby: What about Muscle Dad?
Muscle Man: Look, bros. My old man was a screw-up. And let's face it, so am I. I'm overweight, I work in a lame park, and you two and Fives are my only friends. But the one thing that a Sorrenstein almost never screws up is a prank. (shown smiling) And my dad's hat ashes in that stuck up Trucker Hall of Fame is the funniest thing I can think of right now. Now, are you ladies in or aren't you?
(Mordecai and Rigby smile. Scene goes to Muscle Man openiong up the boot of his car. The guys get their stuff together and whoop as they swirl stuff around. Back at the entrance, the guards have locked up the gate.)
Guard #2: (chuckles) Dumpster.
Guard #1: Yeah, I know. I just opened my mouth and it came out.
(A light shines into view.)
Mordecai, Rigby and Muscle Man: Whooooo!
(The guys break through the gste.)
Rigby: Special delivery!
(He throws a brick as they drive on, and it smashes one of the guards' mototcycles. The first guard pulls out a walkie talkie.)
Guard #1: Calling all truckers! We have a bogie going towards Memorial Hill! I repeat: A forklift driver's hat ashes are on Memorial Hill!
(As the guys enter Memorial Hill, the ghost of Trucker Berg comes out of the statue.)
Berg: Forklift driver?
(He flies after the guys. As they continue driving, the ghosts of Dog Face and Huge Marge fly out of their statues and go after them. Mordecai and Rigby notice this.)
Muscle Man: What's going on back there?
(Berg's ghost hand comes into the car, trying to take the urn.)
Mordecai: Dude, let go!
(He tries to pull the urn out of the hand. It comes out and Muscle Man grabs it. Berg blubbers something to the other ghosts, and they go either side of the car to try and retrive the urn.)
Muscle Man: Rigby, catch!
(Muscle Man throws it past the hands to Rigby. who catches it.)
Rigby: Got it!
(A hand punches Rigby, allowing the hands to grasp the urn.)
Mordecai: We gotta shake 'em!
(Muscle Man starts swerving, sending the 3 ghosts away. A truck with the three alive truckers from before appears next to them.)
Trucker #1: Hand over them ashes! Memorial Hill's for truckers!
Muscle Man: We're not handing over anything!
Bear Dog: Oh, yeah?!
(He tries to swerve the car away, but Muscle Man steps on it, and speeds off. They finally reach the top of Memorial Hill and get out of the car.)
Rigby: Hurry! Bear Dog's catching up to us!
(They run to where they can see the sign.)
Muscle Man: Hey, Trucker Hall of Fame!
(He opens the urn.)
Muscle Man (continued): Kiss my dad's trucker hat ashes!
(He throws the urn into the air, and laughing can be heard as it transform into lightning. A form takes shape, and reveals itself as Muscle Dad. He is in a forklift, whooping and twirling.)
Muscle Man: Muscle Dad?
Muscle Dad: Heh, heh. Yep, it's me, Muscle Son! Thanks for honouring your old man's last wish.
Muscle Man: No problem, Muscle Dad. Huh?
(They notice Bear Dog's truck coming toward them.)
Bear Dog: You desecrated this place! Now we're gonna make roadkill outta you!
(The guys scream as Bear Dog start drivng at them. Muscle Dad steps in with his forklift.)
Muscle Dad: Hey, Bear Dog! Need a lift?
(He uses his forklift to send Bear Dog's truck flying out of Memorial Hill. He then laughs.)
Muscle Dad (continued): Ha, ha! Did you see that?
Muscle Man: Dad, why didn't you tell me you were a forklift driver?
Muscle Dad: I wanted you to be proud of me, Muscle Son. I'm sorry I lied to you all those years.
Muscle Man: It's okay, Muscle Dad. I forgive you.
(Rigby places a hand on his shoulder.)
Mordecai: It's an honour to meet you, Muscle Dad.
(Cars are heard.)
Muscle Dad: Looks like we got company.
(The trucker ghosts are floating up to the hill.)
Muscle Dad (continued): I'll hold 'em off.
Muscle Man: But how, Muscle Dad?
(He snaps his fingers, and the sign on his hat says, "World's Greatest Forklift Driver".)
Muscle Man (continued): That's what I'm talking about.
Muscle Dad: Now go!
(Muscle Man and the guys head back to the car and drive off while Muscle Dad drives toward the trucker ghosts.)
Mordecai: You sure your dad can handle them on his own?
Muscle Man: He'll be fine.
Muscle Dad: Come on, pull my finger!
(Muscle Dad laughs as the guys drive out of the Trucker Hall of Fame. The sun start to come up, and Mordecai and Rigby are sleeping.)
Muscle Man: I had a great time dudes. This was the best bro trip ever. We'll probably just be jerks to each other again tomorrow. But I really see you guys as good friends. Pranks and insults are just how my old man taught me to show it. Aw man, I sound like such a winner. I'm glad you guys aren't awake to hear this. Or this.
(He farts, and Mordecai and Rigby wake up.)
Mordecai: Dude, Muscle Man!