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This page is the transcript for "Welcome to Space".

(Episode begins in outer space. The dome-sealed park rocket comes into view. The guys and Eileen are groaning.)

Sureshot: Looks like the newbies can't handle lightspeed, allow me to introduce you to my compatriots. Toothpick Sally, Recap Robot...

Recap Robot: Hello, hi.

Sureshot: And yours truly, Chance Sureshot. (Twirls his blaster and drops it) We're here. That's the Space Tree, home.

Guys: Whoa.

Rigby: Check out all the other domes.

(The park dome lands in an empty spot, cut to Col. Ralws' office)

Col. Rawls: You left these new recruits drifting for how long?!

Sureshot: Uh, maybe 2 days.

Col. Rawls: 2 days?! If you were on time, maybe they wouldn't have been boarded by Reaper bots. Real rookie maneuver, Sureshot. Now get down and give me 300, you miserable sack of space puke.

Sureshot: Uh, yes sir. (Gets down and starts doing push-ups)

Col. Rawls: Ahem, as for the rest of you, welcome to space, I'm Colonel Rawls, insert pleasantries here.

Benson: Hi. Benson here, quick question, WHAT IS GOING ON?!

(Cut to everyone watching an initiation video)

Male voice: Congrats, new domers. You have been selected to take part in the next frontier in recreation, the SPARK Initiative.

Benson: Spark? (gasp) space park.

Rigby: Shh.

Male voice: Our operatives on Earth determined you would be a good fit for this mission. Over the next few months, this space station will be your home, you'll train with the best from around the world, then you'll be sent off on your own to explore pristine space wilderness so that this can become this. After that, you'll go to the [BLEEP] system, where you'll protect [BLEEP] as you arrive at [BLEEP]

Col. Rawls: (Runs in front of the screen) Uh, that's classified for now, so who's jazzed about this? (Everyone but Benson cheers) I see one guy who isn't jazzed.

Benson: So we're being forced to do this?

Col. Rawls: Well, this is purely a volunteer mission to benefit mankind.

Benson: Well I don't volunteer. (He leaves the room)

Col. Rawls: That's different.

Eileen: Why can't Benson see that this is gonna be really cool?

Skips: He's afraid to try something new.

Pops: The park wouldn't be the same without him.

Rigby: We gotta get him on board.

(Cut to the barracks)

Sureshot: And this here's the Barracks.

Rigby: Cool, bunk beds.

Mordecai: Benson, check it out cool pillows.

Benson: Those pillows are not cool at all and neither is space.

Eileen: Actually, Benson, I hate to disagree, but living in space is the definition of cool. I mean, I just got goosebumps saying that.

Benson: Um, again; basically kidnapped and forced to do this.

Rigby: What's the matter, Benson? You can have top bunk if you want.

Benson: (Sarcastically) Oh, the top bunk, now I definitely wanna stay in space. (To Muscle Man) Muscle Man, what about Starla?

Muscle Man: Starla would be proud, Besides, I know our love will stand the test of time. (He holds up a picture of him and Starla signed "Our love will stand the test of time. Starla" and kisses the photo)

Benson: Well, Fives, what about Celia?

Hi-Five Ghost: Ditto. (Pulls out a photo of him and Celia signed "Ditto -Celia")

Benson: I can't believe you people! Those scientists lied to us. MR. MAELLARD LIED TO US!! UGH, I WANNA GO HOME!!! (He storms out)

Skips: This is gonna be harder than we thought.

Recap Robot: Thank you all for joining me on this tour. If you look to your left, you'll find Jamaican domers doing a little target practice.

Guys: Whoa.

Hi-Five Ghost: Benson, did you see how cool that was?

Muscle Man: Can you believe we get to use these things?

Benson: Yeah, that's not a safety hazard.

Recap Robot: And in the simulation room, we can program any scenario to prepare for what you might encounter in space.

Skips: Wow, that's pretty wild, huh, Benson? Any scenario you might encounter. Think of the possibilities.

Benson: The only scenario I want to encounter is me going back to my apartment.

Recap Robot: And finally, this is the food court. Domers and pilots alike come here to hang out and swap stories.

Mordecai: Hey, Benson, check it out.

Rigby: All you can eat wings.

Benson: Yeah, they had that back on Earth, and they're probably better, too.

Sureshot: Here's your new jumpsuits. They got your names on 'em. (gives everybody their jumpsuits) Pretty cool, right?

Benson: (sees his jumpsuit that labels "Benson, the Dome Manager" on it) No, not cool.

Sureshot: Harsh.

Benson: You should keep this anyway. I'm not staying.

Col. Rawls: Cha! You still don't get it. You don't think this mission is important! Well, fine. We don't need you! All that matters is that we have a team that wants to be here!

Mordecai: This seems like a pretty important mission. You don't want to experience that?

Skips: Come on, Benson, just stay with us.

Benson: I can't believe you are all fine with this. (scoffs) I mean... (holds up his clipboard) if this is a peaceful mission, why do we have to practice using weapons? Why did I have to wear that fax machine like a jerk if you didn't have anything important for me to do? I had a good life, and then you had to drag us up here!

Col. Rawls: No more questions! That's an order!

Benson: Why would I listen to you? I'M THE PARK MANAGER!

Col. Rawls: WELL, I'M THE COLONEL, WHICH IS ABOUT ONE HUNDRED POSITIONS HIGHER THAN YOU! (throws Benson's clipboard in the trash burner, and it automatically disintegrates)

Guys: (gasp)

Col. Rawls: Are you done?!

Benson: Oh, I'm done! I'M DONE WITH ALL OF THIS!!

Col. Rawls: Then go, then! We can get a pod back to Earth for ya, quitter!

Benson: Sounds great! I'm out! (angrily leaves)

Col. Rawls: Shoot. I thought for sure that reverse psychology was gonna work.

Mordecai: Hey, man! That was messed up.

Rigby: You can't do that to our boss!

Col. Rawls: You guys better get Benson onboard!

Mordecai: I think I've got one more idea that can get him to stay.

Rigby: You can't be serious, Benson.

Muscle Man: You're really gonna give up, now?

Benson: I've been telling you guys, for the past two hours you're not gonna change my mind. As soon as I finish this space panini, I'm out of here. There, I'm done.

Mordecai: If you really want to go, I guess we can stop you but... You should at least watch this before you leave. We all put this video together. We think it might change your mind about staying.

Benson: How did you make this?

Eileen: Don't you remember that really cool editing bay we saw on the tour? There were so many VCRs!

Benson: (Sighs) I know what this is. It's a tape full of sappy memories that are supposed to convince me to stay, show me where I belong. Well, it won't work!

Mordecai: No, Benson, Wait!

Rigby: You're making a mistake!

(Benson sees this tape that labeled "For Benson" and closes his eyes. The pods blasts off from Space Tree Station to the Earth and lands on that huge spot where the park had lifted off into space. The pod door opens as smoke comes out, and Benson coughs as he got out of the pod when...)

Reporter 1: Sir, sir! Are you responsible for the park disappearing?

Benson: No, I...

Reporter 2: How do you plan to reimburse the city for all the damages?

Benson: What? Uh...

Reporter 3: Sir, what is space food like? Do you take it orally or...

Benson: Get away from me!

(Benson escapes from the reporters and races back to his apartment. Benson uses his key to unlock the door and realizes that the lock had been changed.)

Benson: Why isn't my key working?

Neighbor Lady: Why, that apartment's been vacant for 30 years.

Benson: 30 years? But I've only been gone for 2 days.

Neighbor Lady: Sorry. Did I say years? I meant hours. 30 hours. We all saw the news and assumed you were in space for good. There's some fresh new college students living in there.

(Benson sees college students cheering and laughing inside. Benson's face was drawn on his stomach with a marker.)

College Student 1: Ha ha ha ha ha ha! We just drew your face on this dude's gut!

College Student 2: Yeah, you look like a loser!

College Student 3: Woo-hoo! Ha ha ha ha!

Benson: (Sighs)

(As Benson has no place to live, he's off to search for a job. Benson sees a "Help wanted" sign on the windows of Cheezer's. Benson straightens up his neck tie and walks through the doors. Inside Cheezer's, Benson is cooking a grilled cheese sandwich. Once he's done cooking, the man argues that the sandwich is not completely cooked enough. Benson angrily grabs the sandwich and rubs it on his face. The female manager fired Benson. As Benson left Cheezer's, he grows mad and throws his hat down on the ground, and the cop writes something on the ticket and gives it to him. Another job that Benson is searching for is at the grocery store. Benson wrote his name on the paper, but he couldn't remember his address. He wrote a scribbling line on the "Address" line. The store manager couldn't accept him to be on part of the job. Neither does the dock worker nor a hobo manager. Benson was depressed that he couldn't get any jobs to work for home, food, and money. Notice that Benson has a 5 o'clock shadow. Somebody threw a newspaper on Benson's face. Benson sees a picture of Mordecai, Rigby, Eileen, Pops, Muscle Man, Skips, and Hi-Five Ghost smiling and wearing their uniform, and the headline above the picture says "Park Crew loves being in space." Benson gasps. He goes to Wing Kingdom and tells the waiter to order some hot wings that he want to eat. The waiter asks a question: "Do you have money to pay the wings?" Benson nervously smiles and shrugs. Two men threw Benson out of Wing Kingdom and dumped in the garbage. Benson becomes a hobo and has a load of things in a shopping cart, and a 5 o'clock shadow has grown into a bigger beard for years. Later that night, Benson went back to the missing park sport where the shuttle had landed and started a campfire to keep warm. He sees a "For Benson" tape, and his eyes are watery. Time-lapse on the construction of new buildings around the city as many years have gone by. Later, Benson pushes a shopping cart and the reporter on TV reports that there's going to an alien attack around the earth as the spaceships arrived from outer space. Benson runs fast from the spaceships as he ran inside the TV Store Warehouse. Benson grabs a dusty tape and blows the dust off. Benson was sad about the tape that he is looking. He inserts the tape into the VCR, and the tape plays on TV.)

Mordecai: Hey, Benson, um, we get why you want to go back to Earth, but I'm not sure we were really upfront about why we wanted you to stay.

Skips: It just wouldn't be the same without you.

Rigby: I won't be able to keep up with work without you breathing down my neck.

Muscle Man: And who am I gonna have wing-eating contests with, huh?

Hi-Five Ghost: I've always appreciated your no-nonsense attitude and dedication to your work. It's really inspiring.

(Benson feels sad about this video as he have tears in his eyes. He wipes his tears off of his eyes.)

Eileen: Hey, Benson, I don't know you very well, but I do not know you mean a lot of these guys, and I'd like a chance to get to know you better too. You do have the best chance of keeping Rigby from blowing something up.

Rigby: It's true. (shows the broken camera to Benson) I already broke the first camera we tried to record this with.

Pops: We all really look forward to you, but also, you're our friend, and we'll miss you, and– (cries)

Benson: (cries)

[Rigby sets up the camera to record altogether as a message.]

Skips: Alright, you get it. We'll miss you so... (sniffles) don't go, all right?

Mordecai: Yeah, Benson. We can't do this without you.

Space Needs you, Benson

Benson: I made a huge mistake! I SHOULD'VE STAYED IN SPAAAAACE!!!

[When suddenly... the spaceships come tear off the roof of the TV Store Warehouse and shoot lasers at him! Benson runs!]

Benson: AUGH! AAAAUGH! I SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT! I SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT! I SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT!

[Benson quickly reaches for the exit, opens the door, and...]

Mordecai: Benson! Are you OK?

Benson: Gasp! You're all here! You're so young! [hugs Mordecai and Rigby] So this is what it's like: on the other side.

Mordecai: On the other side of the door?

Benson: What? No, I was on Earth... for years.

Eileen: Actually, you went into the holosimulator.

[Flashback to when they see Benson go back home in Earth.]

Benson: Well, it won't work! [enters the pod]

Mordecai: No, Benson, Wait!

Rigby: You're making a mistake!

Benson: I SHOULD'VE STAYED IN SPAAAAACE!!! [exits the pod]

Eileen: You just walked through the wrong door.

[Benson sees two doors. He realized that he did not go through the door to Return to Earth pod on the left. He went through the door to Return to Earth Simulator on the right.]

Benson: Oh.

Eileen: Seems like a huge flaw to have those rooms next to each other.

Benson: Man, life on Earth without you guys was pretty terrible. So maybe I don't know what's gonna happen or what everything means, but as long as we're together, that's enough for me.

Mordecai: Y'know, Benson, there may be a lot of new stuff going on, but we're all the same. The park's still the park, and you're still our boss. [hands him his jumpsuit]

Benson: Thanks, everyone.

Col. Rawls: Is he in? Sounds like he's in. Welcome to space, everybody.

Guys: OOOOOOHH!

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